My mum seem to be getting worse and I am scared!!

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by FoxMulder, Apr 20, 2016.

  1. FoxMulder

    FoxMulder Registered User

    Apr 16, 2016
    Since ever my mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease last week, her memory seemed to getting worse.

    Yesterday I visited my mother at her home to remind her to take her pill the memory nurse have prescribe to her. She said she was not feeling well. She said she have been shaking all the morning and she felt very frightened. She told us that she was frightened of taking the pill the nurse have given her and she frightened she was going to have an accident or fall over. We rang her memory nurse but he is away for afew days, so another nurse took our call and advised my mum not to take it and she will be offered to take another medication. We don't know if the pill is causing her to have shakes or its a cold coming on? It took us a while to calm my mother as she kept saying how cold she feels inside and she was shaking. I asked her if she had eaten anything but she have only drunk water as she felt abit nauseous. Me and my partner decided to take her to our house. At our house she had a cup of tea and calmed down but was decided to go home to her flat. She looked so thin and frail. I offered her some lunch but she only wanted to eat biscults. My partner drove her home and told her to get some sleep.

    In the afternoon my mum phoned again asking if I would go to shops to buy her some food but she already bought shopping yesterday. My partner said she sounded very confused as she said she was going to the hospital about an x-ray? Her short-term memory seemed to detoriating fast and she seemed very confused and frightened. We rang her doctor as we are becoming deeply concerned about her mental state. A doctor will visit her today this afternoon. I have emailed the social services but it will takes weeks for her to get an Assessment for home care.

    Is there any place or scheme that offers some form of Emergency care for my mother? I hope the GP will push the Social services into providing urgent care for her as I worried something serious will happen to her.

    I feel really scared as I seen my mother slowing disappearing as she turned from being a strong independent woman to a fragile frightened and confused person. It is heartbreaking and I feel helpless and alone.
  2. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    Will your mum be self funding? If so you can arrange care & respite yourself.
  3. Owly

    Owly Registered User

    Jun 6, 2011
    In your previous thread, you wrote this -

    "The memory nurse say there may be severe side effects like diaroherea, and sickness for the first three days of taking them but if she still continued to have these side affects then the memory nurse advised her to ring him and he will prescribe another medication"

    and since this outbreak of feeling unwell coincides with starting the medicine, then it is most likely that. She may be urged to persevere. However as she is on her own, then she is more likely to refuse to take the drug again. Prescribing a different one might be the best answer.

    As her memory appears to be worsening, the doctor may well ask her to do a wee and perform a dipstick test to check for a UTI (bladder infection). They can cause people with dementia to deteriorate rapidly until antibiotics have been taken.

    If the doctor thinks your Mum is seriously ill, I think her response would be to call an ambulance first to get her to hospital and find out what is actually wrong. She wouldn't just get SS involved and ask them to find a care home (or carers) immediately. There are sometimes emergency beds in care homes available in every area, but your Mum wouldn't be moved into one of them until they were very certain what was wrong, and also that she needed it (rather than keeping it for someone else).

    I think you'll need to wait and see what the doctor says.

    Have you looked around at any residential or dementia homes near to where you live? Would Mum be self-funding (savings over £23,000 or a house to sell) or would SS need to be involved? If it is them, they most likely wouldn't fund her in a care home until daily home carers (say 3 times a day) had been tried out. That is much, much cheaper for them (and Mum). Care home places cost something like £700-900 a week.

    How far away does Mum live from you? what is the travel time?
  4. FoxMulder

    FoxMulder Registered User

    Apr 16, 2016
    Owly: Thanks, my mother lives in the town centre which is an 10 minutes drive in the car or on the bus. Well yesterday my mum have been complaining about shivering and shaking. We phoned the memory nurse and she was advised not to take the medication. Last night and today she says she still shaking. She feels very frightened being on her own. She lives on the first floor and is frighten to walk down the steps to the main entrance in case she falls. She is frightened to even go to the shops in case she falls over or get lost. We phoned for her doctor to visit at her flat today and we will see what she can do to help her.

    I don't know about my mother's financial situation but I think daily home carers will be a cheaper option. However the local council are making severe cuts in services in my area. They have outsourced many services to local charities and care companies. So funding will be tight.
  5. RedLou

    RedLou Registered User

    Jul 30, 2014
    Is she drinking an adequate amount of water? Dehydration will make any confusion worse.
  6. grove

    grove Registered User

    Aug 24, 2010
    North Yorkshire

    FoxM , Welcome too T P ( talking point ) & hope you find it as supportive & friendly :) as I have done Sorry your Mother is frightened & not feeling so good No real advice (sorry ) but do agree with the other member it is important too drink plenty Wishing you both support & thinking of you both & hope things start too improve soon & the M Nurse can help also

    Love & Supportive hugs too you

    Grove x
  7. FoxMulder

    FoxMulder Registered User

    Apr 16, 2016
    To Grove and Red Lou,

    Thank you for your replies. Yes my mother drinks alot of water but is not eating properly. Yesterday the GP came to assess her for social care. My mum is very resistant to having any form of help. The GP advised her she should have a panic alarm button and someone come in and check on her.

    The social worker emailed me back yesterday and gave me list of care agencies to organised home help for her and check on her. If its get any worse then I should contact them again.

    My thoughts goes to you all going through the same thing.

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