my mum refuses to go to the doctor

[nickystarr13]

Hi All im 31, female and currently staying with my parents

we have been dealing with this for a few years, probably going on ten where my mum has 'episodes' of paranoia and other strange behaviour
we have recently come to terms with it could, and probably is dementia.
She has never been the sort of person who would go to the doctor on a normal day, so over the years has refused and just shouts back to us 'I DONT NEED A DOCTOR'
She thinks there are people in the house, thinks we are other people and other paranoid behaviour...like shouting at people that are not there, random names sometimes.

I can slowly see my dad falling apart because of this. they don't really have any friends and my mum has been a housewife for 20 odd years. and they have been happily married for 31 years otherwise.

how do we get her seen too?? its hard for us to not lose our temper at this point, but we know she needs help.
she would panic if a doctor came to the house and she will not even accompany us to a doctors appointment for ourselves. HELP!!!!!!!

 

[Bunpoots]

Hi nickystarr.

Could you phone her GP, or send a letter outlining her behaviour and how it's changed from normal and see if they would be willing to send someone to the house "incognito" so your mum doesn't panic? Some GPs are better than others at this sort of thing, but I'm not sure what else to suggest.

 

[canary]

Yes it definitely sounds like your mum has dementia. I would agree with bunpoots that you should write to her GP explaining your concerns and asking for a home visit. Im wondering whether your mum really would twig that he was a doctor as she seems quite divorced from reality, but even if she did twig, perhaps the doctor aught to see that in order to make him/her understand the impact that it is having on your dad and he can get the help he needs.

If this is left it will only get worse and eventually there will be a crisis, but sometimes this is what has to happen. I would also add that if your mum becomes violent (I do hope not, but it does happen), or starts wandering at night please call the police. They will not cart her off in hand-cuffs, but they will send a report to Social Services so that she and your dad are on their radar.

 

[nickystarr13]

Thanks both. My Dad says that over the years he has tried everything. I know it is going to end up in a situation where she is very panicked and scared and she wont be able to understand. it is a horrible condition.