Mum refuses home care or any help and we are finding it all very worrying,people who have known her for years have been contacting us with stories of her forgetting that she had paid them and offering to do so again.Bottom line is can we insist that she has home care or someone to keep an eye on her without her permission
My Mum lives alone and I am 130 miles away
- Thread starter Gibgal
- Start date
It's such a worry even worse when you live a fair distance away
There is away to get help for her but think you need to get in touch with her doctor but I'm sure someone wilbe along to give you more details
Sending HUGS your way
X
It's such a worry even worse when you live a fair distance away
There is away to get help for her but think you need to get in touch with her doctor but I'm sure someone wilbe along to give you more details
Sending HUGS your way
X
Yes,she was seen by the doctor last year but she has become much more confused and her short term memory is dreadful.Although she seems to be coping I am worried because she is so alone and as I mentioned will not contemplate moving or homecare so I really am stuck for ideas as I want Mum to be happy
Oh dear what a situation.
I'm not sure but can contact Social Services-has your Mum had any contact with them before.If she has that would be ideal.
I'm sure someone will be along in a minute who has experienced this before.
Take care
Lyn T
I'm not sure but can contact Social Services-has your Mum had any contact with them before.If she has that would be ideal.
I'm sure someone will be along in a minute who has experienced this before.
Take care
Lyn T
OK you need to get an OT in to assess her.
She at least needs the Age Concern panic necklace or bracelet on. You can be a contact person so although remote you are a part of the decision making process as to what should happen.
She will need grab bars in the house at strategic points, OT to assess.
She may need something like Wiltshire Farm Foods to deliver her foods. You may do this yourself via tesco/sainsbury's other.
You may want to stop her using gas/electric cooker, you need to judge.
She may need hot meals delivered, OT and you to be involved with assessments.
She may need commodes, raised toilet seats, railing to get into the garden hang out washing, depends what ability she retains.
She may need a wheelchair for trips to shops etc.
You may need to assess whether you need PoA to protect her from abuse.
Occupational Therapist (OT) will assess what she needs, mum even got a full wet room as getting into and out of the bath was dangerous.
She may need a huge clock to remind her what day/date it is.
She may need a memory board to you or she can write important stuff on it "Take medication, turn off the fire" that kind of stuff.
Get an OT in (we got mum's from the hospital when she was admitted).
Get the Fire Brigade into assess her fire needs (they do this free) and will put in free alarms, they may need to be automatically linked to the fire station if they go off.
I'm trying to think of what else I've sorted for mum.
OK magnifying glasses, to read instructions as she forgets how to cook.
If she is determined to stay in her home, then it has to be as safe as it can be. If all this fails then you may need to revisit, but there is a lot you can do before it comes to that if she doesn't want it but her safety has to be key.
She at least needs the Age Concern panic necklace or bracelet on. You can be a contact person so although remote you are a part of the decision making process as to what should happen.
She will need grab bars in the house at strategic points, OT to assess.
She may need something like Wiltshire Farm Foods to deliver her foods. You may do this yourself via tesco/sainsbury's other.
You may want to stop her using gas/electric cooker, you need to judge.
She may need hot meals delivered, OT and you to be involved with assessments.
She may need commodes, raised toilet seats, railing to get into the garden hang out washing, depends what ability she retains.
She may need a wheelchair for trips to shops etc.
You may need to assess whether you need PoA to protect her from abuse.
Occupational Therapist (OT) will assess what she needs, mum even got a full wet room as getting into and out of the bath was dangerous.
She may need a huge clock to remind her what day/date it is.
She may need a memory board to you or she can write important stuff on it "Take medication, turn off the fire" that kind of stuff.
Get an OT in (we got mum's from the hospital when she was admitted).
Get the Fire Brigade into assess her fire needs (they do this free) and will put in free alarms, they may need to be automatically linked to the fire station if they go off.
I'm trying to think of what else I've sorted for mum.
OK magnifying glasses, to read instructions as she forgets how to cook.
If she is determined to stay in her home, then it has to be as safe as it can be. If all this fails then you may need to revisit, but there is a lot you can do before it comes to that if she doesn't want it but her safety has to be key.
Find local charities for mum it is Irish ones who cater for the elderly and will pick them up, and take them to day care or just do a befriending service where they will pop in weekly to chat with them and break up the day.
Go to Crossroads Care see what support they can put in, we get 90 minutes a week.
Sorry to bombard you but this has all happened over a long time for us but if I share what I've done I am hoping that you can pick and mix what would work for your mum.
Go to Crossroads Care see what support they can put in, we get 90 minutes a week.
Sorry to bombard you but this has all happened over a long time for us but if I share what I've done I am hoping that you can pick and mix what would work for your mum.
Get yourself registered with the emergency services (I didn't do this but they've got my details from somewhere) Mum is registered as a dementia patient so given high priority if they call. If it sounds dementia related (they call me things like water being contaminated) or a burglar having broken in and stealing half of my son's snooker balls. Then they call me so I can get her calmed down.
It is is an alarm they still call me to find out which alarm it is so I can decide which emergency services to call if they need calling at all.
It is is an alarm they still call me to find out which alarm it is so I can decide which emergency services to call if they need calling at all.
