My mum keeps leaving the house

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Tilly_123, Jul 16, 2019.

  1. Tilly_123

    Tilly_123 New member

    Oct 31, 2017
    5
    Hi,

    My Mum has Alzheimers and Vascular Dementia (diagnosed Nov 16). For a certain class she always seems to get the time wrong and leaves very early in the morning, sometimes going back 2 or 3 times the same day. We've done notes and white boards and I call her hourly to reassure her I'll tell her when to leave but it's not working. Anyone got any ideas and she gets very upset when in her words she make a 'mistake' :-(

    Thanks in advance.
     
  2. Sirena

    Sirena Registered User

    Feb 27, 2018
    1,414
    Female
    I'm afraid there isn't really a way of stopping this, as you've found - whiteboards and phone calls don't work because she doesn't look at the whiteboard (or doesn't register what it says) and doesn't remember you're going to call and tell her when to leave. The only way would be for someone to actually be in the house and tell her every time she tries to leave.

    My mother lost all sense of time (or day) quite early, so there was no point ever say we would come over tomorrow. That would result either in her ringing back an hour later and saying "I thought you were coming over" or we'd arrive and she'd be out. She wouldn't remember appointments even if they were written down and we rang to remind her, the only way to do it was for one of us to actually take her.
     
  3. Rosettastone57

    Rosettastone57 Registered User

    Oct 27, 2016
    917
    As @Sirena has said, it's impossible to stop. When my mother-in-law had to get ready for a podiatrist appointment and transport was arranged for her, I used a carer to make sure she was ready and go with her. My mother-in-law just couldn't be left to deal with it herself. She had no sense of time, was unaware of days,weeks or even the seasons. Your mum needs someone with her. I'm sure that's not what you wanted to hear, but my mother-in-law couldn't remember to look at clocks, messages, notes etc
     
  4. Sarasa

    Sarasa Registered User

    Apr 13, 2018
    403
    Mum used to be able to read the time but not understand what it meant in relation to a given event. So she knew it was 10.00 in the morning and her keep fit class was at 2.00 so she would want to leave for the class even though it was only five minute walk away.
    She also used to leave the house because she'd forgotten I was coming, but I always knew to track her down in Marks.
    As others have said unless you are there nothing much is going to work.
     

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