I haven't been on TP for awhile so just read your post. I'm so very, very sorry that you and your husband have had such a terribly difficult time. It is so hard that one family should have so much grief visited on them all at once. I'm glad to read you are picking up the pieces and I echo our other Karen in saying "take good care of yourself too". As everyone else's support person, you will need to take time out for yourself to maintain your own strength and sanity. Loving and caring thoughts are winging their way to you.