My mum in law is no longer suffering

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by davekas, Oct 19, 2007.

  1. davekas

    davekas Registered User

    Hi everyone,
    I knew this day would come when I had to let you know that my mum in laws suffering has ended, she slipped away today.
    We got the call from the hospital and arrived just in time before she passed away.
    Ever since she was first diagnosed with Alzheimers 3 years ago, there has not been one single day when she hasn`t been living in torment - she fought against it and was always angry or sobbing. In this past month she developed bowel cancer which spread to her liver and yesterday her kidneys started to fail and she developed a chest infection.
    Even though we thought we were prepared for her death, it has still hit us hard today. I am trying so very hard to be strong for my husband and his sister, but I had to come and post to you so that I could cry without my husband getting more upset. ( He`s gone to bed).
    It really has been the most terrible 24 hours as yesterday was the funeral of my stillborn grandson Reuben and then at 11 o clock last night we had to drive 80 miles to a hospital where my stepdaughter (age 22) had been admitted after trying to end her own life. We had only been back in town about 3 hours when we got the call about my mum in law.
    I feel totally washed out, worried and broken right now.
    Thankyou for being here for me.
    Love Karen. xx
     
  2. sammyb

    sammyb Registered User

    Sep 19, 2007
    126
    Nottingham
    I am so very, very sorry. Words fail me. But just to let you know I am thinking of you at this dreadful time.

    Love from Sammyb
     
  3. poppet

    poppet Registered User

    Aug 3, 2007
    70
    so very sorry to hear of your sad losses...you have my sympathy and from a relative stranger to stranger i send you a big supportive hug as i am sure you could do with one.
    best wishes

    poppet
     
  4. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,438
    Dear Karen

    What can one say? What a truly awful period of time.

    You and all your family are in my thoughts

    Love
     
  5. christine_batch

    christine_batch Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    3,388
    Buckinghamshire
    When words are not enough.

    Dear Karen,
    I am so very sorry to read about your most terrible news. My thoughts go to you and your family at this very sad time.
    Although we never meet on T.P. it is like one big close family. Everyone is here for support.
    God Bless. Christine
     
  6. davekas

    davekas Registered User

    Thankyou all very much for your kind words and support. I just needed to know you were there. You have helped and I feel a bit better now. I think a good nights sleep is probably the best thing right now, so I`ll bid you goodnight and God Bless. x
    Thanks again,
    Karen. xx
     
  7. nemesisis

    nemesisis Registered User

    May 25, 2006
    100
    so sorry

    Karen so sorry to read your post I am finding it hard with only my mum to worry about to my heart goes out to you
    be strong xx
     
  8. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    1,314
    Dear Karen,
    I am sorry to hear of your sad loses and send my sincere condolences.

    I hope that your step daughter will be alright. Caring Thoughts Taffy.
     
  9. Cate

    Cate Registered User

    Jul 2, 2006
    1,370
    Newport, Gwent
    Dear Karen

    I am so very sorry to hear all your sad news, what a dreadful time you have had.

    Even though your MIL is not suffering anymore, it doesnt make it any easier does it. I am also very very sorry to hear that you have also lost your grandson, I cannot even begin to think how you come to terms with that, and your poor stepdaughter, I do hope she is getting the help she clearly needs.

    Do come and have a chat with us when you need to, its so very hard to keep strong for others when you are hurting yourself.

    Sending you a massive hug.

    Love

    Cate
     
  10. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,903
    Kent
    And we will be here Karen for as long as you need us.

    I`m so sorry you have had such a dreadful time and hope your grief for your MIL will be eased by knowing her suffering is over.

    With love xx
     
  11. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Dear Karen,

    What a terrible time you have had. Three major traumas in one day, I'm not surprised you feel wrung out.

    It's going to take you a long time to come to terms with all that has happened, please remember that we're here for you, at any time.

    You mother in law and your baby grandson are at peace now, and hopefully your step-daughter will get the support she needs to be more able to cope.

    And that leaves you with a massive ache in your heart, as well as a grieving husband to support. It's going to be so hard for you, and we'll support you all we can.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you.

    Love,
     
  12. Devonmaid

    Devonmaid Registered User

    Sep 23, 2007
    51
    Dartmoor Devon
    Dear Karen , I cant add anything to what has been said alrready but just add my deep sympathies for you in this most awful and heartbreaking time . Thinking of you ,
    love Kate x
     
  13. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    Just wanted to add my condolences to you at this dreadful time - it is hard to express the right words to try to comfort you.

    I hope TP can continue to help you to release some of those feelings - everyone here has sadness but we are all ready to share with each other.

    My thoughts are with you. Jan
     
  14. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
    Karen, I am going to ask one thing of you.

    PLEASE be selfish!!!!!

    The trauma and tragedy you and yours have suffered recently are immense ..... of course, TPers will be here for you - but you are clearly very much in 'support role' for everyone else - please, please recognise that and make sure you get all the professional as well as personal support you can harness for youself too ....

    Love, Karen (TF), x
     
  15. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    My thoughts and love are with you at this time.
     
  16. SteveS

    SteveS Registered User

    Jun 20, 2007
    41
    Altrincham, cheshire
    my condolences too.

    words cannot be added to releive what you may feel - as the OP say - be selfish - take whatever help is available.

    If there was a Macmillan Nurse - ask them for help - they are brilliant and caring.

    S
     
  17. davekas

    davekas Registered User

    Hi everyone,
    From the bottom of my heart i would like to thank everyone for the love and support shown in your many replies, it really has helped. You are all truly amazing people in my opinion because even though you all have your individual challenges and difficulties to face, you have taken the time to respond to my post and that has meant so much to me. xxxx

    The grey mist that surrounded me on Thursday/Friday last week is beginning to lift and I am feeling much calmer today knowing that Sheila (my mum in law) and baby Reuben are at peace and also that thankfully my stepdaughter is out of danger.

    I am really glad that I joined TP and if it`s ok, I would like to remain here so that I could offer some advice and support to others who may be going through the same or similar experiences. Alzheimers is such a cruel disease as we all know and I just feel as though I want to do something to help other people. I learned yesterday through conversation, that several other members of our family, on both sides are intending at Christmas time to donate money to the Alzheimers Society, in lieu of the gifts they would have bought for my mum in law. I think that it`s a lovely gesture.

    If I`ve learnt one thing so far from all of this experience, then it`s that Love, Family and Friendship are so very valuable and precious and should be cherished always.

    Lots of love and hugs to you all,
    Karen. xxxx
     
  18. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Dear Kare, I'm so glad you're feeling a bit better. Take it easy, and don't try to do too much too soon.

    I'm also glad your step-daughter is on the mend. She's going to need a lot of support, but I'm sure your loving family will rally round.

    Please do stay with us, and post whenever you want. It's a lovely thought that the Christmas present money is going to be donated to the society.

    Love,
     
  19. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Karen,
    I'll second that. Take care now,
     
  20. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,903
    Kent
    Dear Karen/davekas.

    I`m so pleased you are feeling a little better about the ordeals you`ve had to endure and really do hope you stay with TP for as long as you wish.

    Take care

    Love xx
     

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