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My mum I need advise ❤️


New member
Dec 7, 2021
My mum has Alzeimers and she is convinced if it’s not my dad (he died 11 years ago) a man (that has never existed) has left her and she is absolutely heartbroken! I have tried reassuring her of the truth, I feel we have a breakthrough,,then we are back to square one! All she does is cry and not eating as she is just heartbroken. Has anyone been through this before, can anybody please please give me any advise what to perhaps do, say??? It’s breaking my heart too seeing mum clearly so upset, thank you x

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Hello @Michelle6767 Welcome.

Have you consulted your mum`s doctor?

It looks as if this confusion won`t go away without help if it keeps returning and I can only suggest you get some medical help.


Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
South coast
Um, Im not quite sure what you mean. Are you saying that your mum doesnt remember that your dad has died and thinks that he has left her instead? This happened to mum - she was sure that her husband (died 30 years previously) had left her for another woman. She could not remember that he had died so her brain manufactured this "reason" for his absence. Are you constantly trying to explain to your mum that her husband has died? If she has forgotten, then everytime you tell her this will be like the first time that she has heard.
Mum also imagined another husband (who was constantly late home!) who would sort everything out for her. Im sure this was due to anxiety as once she moved to a care home this imaginary person disappeared, although soon after the move mum thought that one of the other residents was her husband! She seemed to need the comfort that there was someone who would look after her.

With mum, we could not let her believe that she was married to another resident, but your mums delusion is not harming another person, so I would not try and convince her of the truth - she will not remember what you have told her, but will be left with the emotional memory that there is something terrible about her husband, so she keeps asking about him. I would just go along with it and say that her husband is working late or something like that. If her husband used to have to go abroad for work then this is an ideal excuse.

She may also need something to help with anxiety


Registered User
Mar 30, 2016
So sorry to hear your Mum is so distressed. I would contact her GP and explain the situation. Maybe some medication would help. Re: the not eating, maybe the GP could prescribe a supplement drink like Fortisip or Complan so she gets some nourishment.( Also I think you can buy some of these over the counter in Pharmacies, ask your local Pharmacist for advice). I hope she feels better soon.