I have never been in a forum or discussion group of any kind before, but after reading all of your threads I hoped that you would understand my need to ramble on to someone who understands.
My Mum has vascular dementia, I think it is vascular, the psychiatrist came to see mum last week at the request of her GP, after I mentioned my concerns about mum’s behaviour over the past 6 months or so.
I pretended that the psychiatrist came to see mum to give her sleeping tablets. But she new it was more that that.
All the psychiatrist kept saying when she had finished her (Chat) with mum was “what are you expecting from me?” what do you want from me?” of course I couldn’t say anything because I didn’t want mum to guess why she was there.
Mum was broken into 5 years ago and had her leg broken, which has gradually brought about a drastic worsening of her conditions, ie heart failure, asthma and Emphysema.
Her condition has deteriated so much that she is bed bound and due to her ill health the psychiatrist said that due to the lack of oxygen and blood flow to the brain some of her brain cells have died, and this situation has come suddenly rather than gradually like AD.
She has been waiting for a heart bypass for a year, but was told 2 weeks ago by her surgeon that she was too ill to survive the operation, that she only has 1 lung, and the other is only working at 30%. She should go home and enjoy every day as if it was the last. And he then told me she would not be here long. (How long is not long)?
So although mum has not had a stroke, I think it is vascular, both doctors have told me but I have forgotten too.
So far my husband and I are the only carers. It is hard work trying to get a social worker out to assess for help. Our GP, mum’s and mine, agrees I am not well enough to do this on my own because of my and my husband’s ill health, however, after reading about all of you out there I know we are all in similar situations.
At first our GP wanted mum to go into a nursing home. But I can’t face that yet, and mum is aright most of the time still, its just that as fast I we tell her something we have to repeat it over and over because she forgets, and she gets up out of bed and tries to move furniture around and empty drawers, just to prove she is fit, even though doing this will kill her.
We also get insults and abuse, and our grandchildren who she loves now call her naughty gran because she says nasty things to them, when I try to tell her how she is upsetting them, she say she would rather die than hurt her grandkids, and will say sorry when she sees them again. But then forgets 2 min later.
By the way my mother-in-law died 5 years ago and my husband and I looked after her for 10 years with Parkinson’s disease and AD.
I just don’t know how I can do this again.
I’m sorry if this is too much rambling, and you don’t all get bored but the social worker who I have only spoke to on the phone once, and she doesn’t seem that interested, and I’m afraid you are getting all my heartache, worry fear and anger.
Please forgive me.
Margaret
My Mum has vascular dementia, I think it is vascular, the psychiatrist came to see mum last week at the request of her GP, after I mentioned my concerns about mum’s behaviour over the past 6 months or so.
I pretended that the psychiatrist came to see mum to give her sleeping tablets. But she new it was more that that.
All the psychiatrist kept saying when she had finished her (Chat) with mum was “what are you expecting from me?” what do you want from me?” of course I couldn’t say anything because I didn’t want mum to guess why she was there.
Mum was broken into 5 years ago and had her leg broken, which has gradually brought about a drastic worsening of her conditions, ie heart failure, asthma and Emphysema.
Her condition has deteriated so much that she is bed bound and due to her ill health the psychiatrist said that due to the lack of oxygen and blood flow to the brain some of her brain cells have died, and this situation has come suddenly rather than gradually like AD.
She has been waiting for a heart bypass for a year, but was told 2 weeks ago by her surgeon that she was too ill to survive the operation, that she only has 1 lung, and the other is only working at 30%. She should go home and enjoy every day as if it was the last. And he then told me she would not be here long. (How long is not long)?
So although mum has not had a stroke, I think it is vascular, both doctors have told me but I have forgotten too.
So far my husband and I are the only carers. It is hard work trying to get a social worker out to assess for help. Our GP, mum’s and mine, agrees I am not well enough to do this on my own because of my and my husband’s ill health, however, after reading about all of you out there I know we are all in similar situations.
At first our GP wanted mum to go into a nursing home. But I can’t face that yet, and mum is aright most of the time still, its just that as fast I we tell her something we have to repeat it over and over because she forgets, and she gets up out of bed and tries to move furniture around and empty drawers, just to prove she is fit, even though doing this will kill her.
We also get insults and abuse, and our grandchildren who she loves now call her naughty gran because she says nasty things to them, when I try to tell her how she is upsetting them, she say she would rather die than hurt her grandkids, and will say sorry when she sees them again. But then forgets 2 min later.
By the way my mother-in-law died 5 years ago and my husband and I looked after her for 10 years with Parkinson’s disease and AD.
I just don’t know how I can do this again.
I’m sorry if this is too much rambling, and you don’t all get bored but the social worker who I have only spoke to on the phone once, and she doesn’t seem that interested, and I’m afraid you are getting all my heartache, worry fear and anger.
Please forgive me.
Margaret
Thank you all for your prompt replies and helpful suggestions, it’s so good to know we are not alone.
