My Mum has vascular dementia, what do I do

Discussion in 'Recently diagnosed and early stages of dementia' started by jostle131, Aug 26, 2015.

  1. jostle131

    jostle131 Registered User

    Aug 26, 2015
    3
    Doncaster
    My mum was diagnosed with vascular dementia recently and I don't know what to do now. She is 85 and Me and my wife are the only people who care for her. After the district nurse saw her nothing much else has happened. Like a lot of the the stories I have read mum thinks there is nothing wrong, I now live 12 miles away and work long days, I have 3 small children and have to make sure I see her at least 3 times a week or things get bad, I take her out as often as I can and 2 weeks ago took her on a holiday to Devon where her memory loss was amplified. I also call her 3 times a day to check she is OK and to remind her to take her tablets, but even then sometimes she calls me and turns nasty saying I have taken her money or I have left her with no food and that I have not spoke to her and deserted her. I feel I am going to have a meltdown trying to juggle work, my kids and my mum and don't know what to do she wont let me get any help yet i know if there was someone who popped in just for half an hour a day she would be better for seeing someone and i could relax more, I have offered to move her in with me but she will not do that either, she is housebound, me, my wife and kids love her dearly and dont know what else to do, I dont even know what I expect posting this
     
  2. DonnaMJohnaon

    DonnaMJohnaon Registered User

    Aug 26, 2015
    1
    uk/spain
    Their is help out there

    Hi Jostle 131

    My dad was diagnosed with vascular dementia and alzheimer in October last year. After a chest infection and a hospital stay at new year he deteriorated very quickly and the family found we were incapable of providing all of the care to my dad - taking tablets being the hardest to manage as no matter what we did he either took too many, did not take them, put them all in the bin.

    I would suggest that you contact your GP and they can contact the relevant department to get an assessment to determine her care needs. Also contact your local Council as they will have an adult care department and you can ask them to open a case on her. My dad had a carer come in twice a day to cope with his meds and also ensure he was dressed and hate eaten and had not gone to bed early.

    I hope you get some help soon as it can be a distressing time.
     
  3. jostle131

    jostle131 Registered User

    Aug 26, 2015
    3
    Doncaster
    Thanks Donna,

    I think just having someone pop in for half an hour would make a big difference, as it seems to be worse if its a few days without seeing her even though I speak to her on the phone every day... when i was off work for a week and saw her each day she seems ok, sounds a bit scary getting someone to open a case on her...thanks for the advice
     

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