My mum has started end of life, but I’m confused!

[BrianSausage]

My mum is 86 and has dementia and Parkinson’s, and is cared for in a nursing home.
About 5 weeks ago she fell and fractured her hip. She was in hospital for 10 days, but since returning to the NH she has deteriorated.
She’s been really sleepy, glazed eyes, not eating or drinking much and bed bound. All signs of end of life.
The NH called in our local hospice team this week as they were concerned with her deterioration, and we were told yesterday that she prob only has weeks left.
Last night I had the awful job of informing family members, which was so upsetting for everyone.
But today I’ve gone to visit and she was so perky! Had eaten, drunk tea and juice and she was awake!!
Have they got it wrong? Will she have good days and bad days?
Would be grateful to know of anyone else’s experiences.
Thank you

 

[stanleypj]

Accidents like your mum has had often occur, and both dementia and Parkinson's can be responsible.
It's also not unusual for people who are affected to have dramatic 'highs and lows'. Only time will tell whether your mum is really approaching the end.

 

[Louise7]

Has your Mum had any changes in medication - pain relief? My Mum was excessively drowsy, had glazed eyes, was not eating & drinking and could not mobilise when in hospital. I thought she was dying but it turned out that she was being given too much pain medication which was over-sedating her. As soon as the medication was withdrawn she returned to her usual happy self and was eating and drinking lots. I understand that whilst at 'end of life' some people do rally sometimes so your Mum may be at end of life (my Mum's quite a bit younger than yours) but it's possible that her medication is just making it appear that way. Might be worth checking her medication chart to see if changes in medicine have coincided with the downward turn & improvement.

 

[BrianSausage]

Has your Mum had any changes in medication - pain relief? My Mum was excessively drowsy, had glazed eyes, was not eating & drinking and could not mobilise when in hospital. I thought she was dying but it turned out that she was being given too much pain medication which was over-sedating her. As soon as the medication was withdrawn she returned to her usual happy self and was eating and drinking lots. I understand that whilst at 'end of life' some people do rally sometimes so your Mum may be at end of life (my Mum's quite a bit younger than yours) but it's possible that her medication is just making it appear that way. Might be worth checking her medication chart to see if changes in medicine have coincided with the downward turn & improvement.

Thanks for your message.
Her pain meds were stopped 2 weeks ago, because of her sleepiness, but no improvement.
My brother and I feel she is giving up. She quite often says she just wants to go to sleep and not wake up.
I hope for her sake her end of life is not prolonged. She’s so frail, has no dignity and has been bed bound for 6 weeks now.

 

[BrianSausage]

Accidents like your mum has had often occur, and both dementia and Parkinson's can be responsible.
It's also not unusual for people who are affected to have dramatic 'highs and lows'. Only time will tell whether your mum is really approaching the end.

Thank you for your message. Your quite right - only time will tell. I find it had to process as I’m very black and white, and today shocked me and I’ve convinced myself that they’ve got it wrong!

 

[garfield3]

Sorry to hear your news. It is a very stressful , confusing time. I hate this disease. I am not quite there yet, but heading there. Mum's eating and drinking is sporadic, 94yrs sleeping a lot.

Unfortunately, as has been said before you have to wait and see. Hang in there.