My Mum has recently been diagnosed

[XXfurbeexx]

My mum is 75, but very young and active for her age. She was diagnosed with the early stages about 6 months ago. Me and my mum are really close and i am struggling. Growing up i thought i could deal with most things but not if my parent was diagnosed with Alzheimers. I am scared that the day will come when i go see her and she doesnt know who i am.... At present she just goes over things many times, forgets what she has said. My dad is coping well but he isnt young either at 76. I just thought i would join with people hear to know what i can expect, and would be nice to have support from people who are going through the same thing. I sound real selish saying i am scared, after all its my mum who is going through all this.

 

[Notenoughsleep]

My mum is 75, but very young and active for her age. She was diagnosed with the early stages about 6 months ago. Me and my mum are really close and i am struggling. Growing up i thought i could deal with most things but not if my parent was diagnosed with Alzheimers. I am scared that the day will come when i go see her and she doesnt know who i am.... At present she just goes over things many times, forgets what she has said. My dad is coping well but he isnt young either at 76. I just thought i would join with people hear to know what i can expect, and would be nice to have support from people who are going through the same thing. I sound real selish saying i am scared, after all its my mum who is going through all this.

Hi, sorry to hear about your mum. I'm completely with you on the struggling side as I too am very close to my mam. I am an only child and my dad died when I was 3 so it was just us until I was 16. My fear was also that she won't know who I am. My mam's not yet formally diagnosed but all the signs are there. She confuses me with my daughter/meals on wheels regularly or talks about me, to me. The way I cope and stay strong (at least in her presence) is by thinking, right, this is another human being who needs help here so I do the best I can in the circumstances and block most of it out when I'm with her. Do you not have any support from a dementia/altzheimer nurse or something? This site is amazing for giving advice also. Take care.

 

[Tin]

Don't be too scared, most of the changes will creep up on you and in a strange way it gives you time to adjust. This is a great site for helping you to cope. When I first joined I had no idea how I would be able to deal with it all and it terrified me. You can hit this site with many questions and can guarantee someone will have the answer to help you. So you are here now, keep in touch.

 

[XXfurbeexx]

Hi, sorry to hear about your mum. I'm completely with you on the struggling side as I too am very close to my mam. I am an only child and my dad died when I was 3 so it was just us until I was 16. My fear was also that she won't know who I am. My mam's not yet formally diagnosed but all the signs are there. She confuses me with my daughter/meals on wheels regularly or talks about me, to me. The way I cope and stay strong (at least in her presence) is by thinking, right, this is another human being who needs help here so I do the best I can in the circumstances and block most of it out when I'm with her. Do you not have any support from a dementia/altzheimer nurse or something? This site is amazing for giving advice also. Take care.

Thank you, early days at the moment but its nice to know there is someone there if you need them x

 

[XXfurbeexx]

Don't be too scared, most of the changes will creep up on you and in a strange way it gives you time to adjust. This is a great site for helping you to cope. When I first joined I had no idea how I would be able to deal with it all and it terrified me. You can hit this site with many questions and can guarantee someone will have the answer to help you. So you are here now, keep in touch.

Thank you, am learning more each day but its nice to know people are here for you and know what you are going through

 

[Quilty]

We know how terrifying this diagnosis feels at the start. I am six years ahead of you. It was working fine for 4 years before it got harder to manage. I have learned to live in the present. Nobody can predict what will happen. Your mum might always recognise you. Get your power of attorney sorted now so it is ready when you need it, even if thats years from now. Create a life book with important details - gas company, insurance company , passport numbers etc. Then plan the happy days you can look forward to. Focus on this as the alzheimers is out of your control. My mum is now in a care home but is very happy. I never imagined that was possible and worried about it for years. I have learned the hard way. We arecall here for you. Keep posting. Nobody understands what we are all living through except other tpers. Lots of love quilty

 

[XXfurbeexx]

We know how terrifying this diagnosis feels at the start. I am six years ahead of you. It was working fine for 4 years before it got harder to manage. I have learned to live in the present. Nobody can predict what will happen. Your mum might always recognise you. Get your power of attorney sorted now so it is ready when you need it, even if thats years from now. Create a life book with important details - gas company, insurance company , passport numbers etc. Then plan the happy days you can look forward to. Focus on this as the alzheimers is out of your control. My mum is now in a care home but is very happy. I never imagined that was possible and worried about it for years. I have learned the hard way. We arecall here for you. Keep posting. Nobody understands what we are all living through except other tpers. Lots of love quilty

what a lovely response. i know this site is going to be of great help to me and my family xx

 

[Quilty]

Its literally a life saver. I was crying in my car and in the loo at work before i found this site. I now feel i have a crowd of friends ready to catch me when i fall and celebrate my good days too. There can and will be many good days ahead. Enjoy them!

 

[canary]

My mum is in a care home now and she only rarely knows who I am. She usually thinks that I am her own mother. It was a bit of a shock the first time that she didnt recognise me, but she knows that I am family and her face lights up every time I see her.
It is not as hard or as scary as I thought it would be before it happened.
As Tin says - it sort of creeps up on you and you get used to it.

Edit to say that I dont think that you are being selfish at all. Dementia affects everyone around, not just the person who has it.