My Mum has passed away

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by alison, Jan 10, 2004.

  1. alison

    alison Registered User

    Aug 25, 2003
    21
    gravesend, kent
    Just to let you all know, that my mum passed away peacefully on the evening of 8th January, the day after her 78th birthday. The cause of death was the blood clot which had travelled to her lungs from her legs, having formed in her leg as a result of her poor mobility due to the alzheimers. We are all upset but not too sad because she wasn't my mum any more. She had spent the last 6 weeks in hospital from a multitude of falls, then 2 weeks at a care home, which she hated and then from 9 days back in hospital initially from dehyrdration and then the blood clot forming. It is a happy release and we are grateful that neither she, nor us, will have to endure the years of terrible torment that would undoubtedly have followed with the progress of alzheimers. Nature has done us all a favour. Despite being diagnosed 5 years ago, with the help of aricet, she remained pretty steady and only this last 6 months did she start to go down hill. She never knew what was wrong with her and even up until last Sunday, my Dad made her laugh a couple of times and she knew who we were more or less until she took the turn for the worse Sunday evening with the blood clot. For her last 4 days in that awful hospital ward, she didn't know we were there and I couldn't bear to look at her as she just wasn't my mum lying there. Dad was good, he would hold her hand and stroke her hair and put her mask back on, but I couldn't do that, but I know mum would have understood. Now I think back to before she was ill, happier memories. I think my dad has took it harder than me because he was the one looking after her and then latterly his day being formed around visiting her either in hospital or at the home. We went back to the home yesterday to pick her clothes up and were so glad to think she wouldn't have to go back there. I try not to have negative thoughts about how if she had not ended up in hospital with such terrible bruises, had dad admitted he couldn't cope with her and sought help, she may then not have ended up in the home, become dehydrated, not wanting to eat or drink or walk, maybe she would still be with us, but I can't think like that or blame my dad, he done is best, although he never really accepted her illness, which many of my previous postings dealt with. I send you all my love for the journeys you all have ahead of you, our journey is now over and I am grateful for that. XX
     
  2. Angela

    Angela Registered User

    May 28, 2003
    151
    Wales
    Dear Alison
    I am sorry to read of the passing of your dear Mum.
    You have written a very honest and understandable account and for that we can only send you the very best of wishes to you, your Dad, and family for the future.
     
  3. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,594
    Female
    Dundee
    Dear Alison,

    Just to say 'thinking of you'.

    Love
    Izzy
     
  4. susan

    susan Registered User

    Aug 18, 2003
    125
    east sussex
    Dear Alison
    My thoughts are with you and your family.
    Love Susan
     
  5. Nutty Nan

    Nutty Nan Registered User

    Nov 2, 2003
    787
    Buckinghamshire
    Dear Alison,
    Hang on to your happy memories of better times with Mum, and be there for your Dad!
    Sincere condolences, Carmen
     
  6. Jpr

    Jpr Registered User

    Dec 26, 2003
    28
    berkshire
    thinking of you and your father
    Jill
     
  7. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    Dear Alison,

    Thank you for sharing such a difficult and emotional time. With very best wishes for the future to you and your father.

    Jude
     
  8. Geraldine

    Geraldine Registered User

    Oct 17, 2003
    143
    Nottingham
    Dear Alison

    So sorry to hear about your Mum, thank you for sharing your experiences with us, look after yourself and your Dad

    God bless

    Geraldine
     
  9. jukeboxgypsy

    jukeboxgypsy Registered User

    Nov 26, 2003
    11
    Hi Alison

    I was sorry to hear about your mum. Please accept my deepest condolences. Take Care.
     
  10. kate34

    kate34 Registered User

    Sep 23, 2003
    51
    thinking of you and your family

    So sorry to hear of your loss and thinking of you
    Look after yourselves
     

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