1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. mariak

    mariak Registered User

    Sep 3, 2003
    30
    I have just lost my Mum after her battle with dementia. It was so hard to watch her just waste away. She did not wan't to leave us and the pain is too much. But i am selfish to want to hold onto her in her wasted body. She now tells me she is free and able to be with me always. But the pain is just too much.
    maria
     
  2. mel

    mel Registered User

    Apr 30, 2006
    1,656
    Sheffield
    Hi Maria
    i am so sorry to hear about your mum....
    Take comfort in the fact that your mum is at peace now and whole again.......
    In time your pain will ease but make sure you give yourself time to heal
    Sending you my love and hugs
    love Wendy xx
     
  3. mariak

    mariak Registered User

    Sep 3, 2003
    30
    I know my Mum is now free, she was a bright light in our world of darkness, She never saw the bad or negative in anyone, its just right now the world is a darker place. Thankyou for your reply, you are right... and it will ease.
    maria
     
  4. maria29al

    maria29al Registered User

    Mar 15, 2006
    426
    Warwickshire
    Maria,

    I am so sorry to hear about your Mum. She is happy now though and still with you always.

    Take care and take time.

    A huge hug to you.

    M
    xxxxxxxx
     
  5. alex

    alex Registered User

    Apr 10, 2006
    1,665
    Hi Maria

    I'm sorry to hear about your mum, its going to be really tough for you over the next few weeks and whatever i say will not make you feel any better, but sometimes just knowing that others care can be enough to turn a dark day a little brighter, stay with tp so we can offer you support over the coming months.......it will help.

    Just take things one day at a time for now, things will get a little brighter in time...........sending you a hug.

    Love Alex x
     
  6. Helena

    Helena Registered User

    May 24, 2006
    715
    Mariak

    You have all my sympathies on your Mothers death
    Mine died last week age 90 and her funeral is tomorrow .
    Thankfully my Mums battle with Vascular Dementia was really only over the last 6 months but especially the last 5 weeks i would never again want to see anyone suffer

    You have to see beyond your loss and be happy in the knowledge your Mum is no longer suffering and is at peace from her tormented world
     
  7. mariak

    mariak Registered User

    Sep 3, 2003
    30
    thankyou so much for your support, my thoughts are with you for tomorrow.
    maria
     
  8. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,677
    Kent
    Hello Maria, I`m so sorry you have lost your mother, and even though you know her suffering is over, yours continues. Be kind to yourself. Love Sylvia x

    Dear Helena, With love for tomorrow. Sylvia x
     
  9. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Maria and Helena

    Thinking of you both at this sad time.

    Love,
     
  10. Lila13

    Lila13 Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    1,342
    I'm sorry about your mother.

    Lila
     
  11. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
    Dear Maria

    You don't sound selfish at all .... just someone who loves and has been so loved, and therefore naturally hurts .... be proud your mum has 'battled' - but don't feel you have to 'fight' just now.....

    Thinking of you, with love, Karen, x
     
  12. taylorcat

    taylorcat Registered User

    Jun 18, 2006
    171
    W.Scotland
    Thinking of both of you at this time.
     
  13. mojofilter

    mojofilter Registered User

    May 10, 2006
    130
    St.Helens
    Thinking about you and your family at this time ....


    Paul
     
  14. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    Really sorry to hear of your loss. Take care of yourself now and keep in touch with TP. Best wishes Beckyjan
     
  15. mariak

    mariak Registered User

    Sep 3, 2003
    30
    I just want to say thankyou for all your kind messages. Last night I went through her beautiful dresses and picked one that really represented her energy and light. Pink with lots of sparkle. I have put one of her favorite handbags with her for those who loved her to put their own message. I took them to the funeral directors this morning. Its so hard with christmas coming and I have to try and find the joy for xmas. My Mum was a great lover of animals and loved spring, she would always say how much she hated the dark nights, but would say to me if winter is here can spring be far behaind. For my Mum to be unable to eat, walk or talk.. to be in be 24 hours a day, 7 days a week unable to move, a prisoner in her own body. My Mum had never had a day in bed, she would say.. people die in bed.. how could I keep her in this condition... I know I had to let my Mum go. So i sat all day with her last friday, I held her hand and went through our life together, I took a picture of how she used to look so the nurses would see just how beautiful she was, not what this horrible diease had done to her. I said how much I loved her and that it was alright for her to leave me. When I kissed her good night I knew it would be the last time I felt her warmth again. I just said Goodnight Godbless and left. The next time I kissed her body she was no longer there, just a cold.. I don't know what. Mariax
     
  16. willemm

    willemm Registered User

    Sep 20, 2006
    41
    Hello Maria
    Just to say thinking of you and your family - I know just how hard it is, having lost my wife similarly just over a week ago. It leaves you feeling gutted and empty. But it will ease, slowly. As everyone will tell you, time will help heal although it's hard for you to think this way right now, but let your grief out - that's important.
    Love and best wishes
    Bill
     
  17. Nell

    Nell Registered User

    Aug 9, 2005
    1,170
    Australia
    Sorry I'm late but wanted you to know that you are thought of and caring wishes being sent to you.
    {{{HUG}}} Nell
     
  18. perfectpatience

    perfectpatience Registered User

    Oct 3, 2006
    64
    Essex
    Re. Your loss

    Dear Mariak so sorry to hear your loss. My dear mum also passed away on Tues...and it has been so hard. Words cannot express what we are going through....the love we feel for our mums....the grief....and heartache of the past few years...at last I can truly feel my mum is at peace...she would have hated how things turned out for her leading up to her last day with us. I wasnt with my mum at her last breath as she seemed to wait for everyone to go...it was her wish. Tomorrow Iam going to the funeral director like you I want to take some nice things for her to wear. I want to put a pic of our lovely alsation with her..whom she loved so much....god bless....take care....I hope we will be strong together. Love PP x
     
  19. DeborahBlythe

    DeborahBlythe Registered User

    Dec 1, 2006
    9,222
    Sympathy

    Very sorry to hear your sad news, deepest sympathy from Deborah
     
  20. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    So very sorry to hear your news; thinking of you at this sad time Beckyjan
     

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