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My mum has dementia and is in hospital

Bigmomma

New member
Jun 6, 2021
2
0
Hi my mum was diagnosed with dementia a couple of years ago. Other then being forgetful she is doing well.my problem is my dad looks after mum during the week and I help at the weekend. Mum can be quite abusive to my dad refuses his help and says his poisoning her with his cooking.( she has always been like this since I was a kid). My mum had a fall and my dad called the ambulance as her leg was swelling and he was worried she had broke a bone. She got taken into hospital and then my dad got a call to say mum would 'Most probably die on the operating table ' due to a blood clots and her bad heart. My dad was beside himself understandably yet mum pulled through and was so happy that all the nurse were given her chocolate high sugar yogurts ( she is insulin dependent and has been for several years) basically to cut a long story short the hospital has reported my dad to safeguarding team because my mum.told fibs about how she has to crawl up the stairs on her own and how my dad leaves her without food or water. I am livid that they can treat my dad like this without trying to talk to me or my mum she forgets but she would have told me if people had been in to speak to her yet nothing. I am concerned for my dad his in his 80's and his not getting any phone calls in regards to my mums health she's also been taken off her insulin but they can't understand why her blood sugars are through the roof. (Awaiting a call back from the general manager tomorrow or cqc will have a complaint to look into). How can I help my dad with the safeguarding team? Sorry for the long post x
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
65,286
0
70
Dundee
Welcome to the forum @Bigmomma. I’m really sorry to read of your difficult situation. You might find it helpful to talk to someone on the Dementia Connect Support Line -

 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
1,733
0
Hello @Bigmomma

What a horrible situation. It's bad enough having someone with dementia in hospital without all that extra stress.

I imagine the hospital staff are ticking boxes as usual and no doubt have to put a certain process in motion if anybody mentions they are being neglected. I wonder if the hospital PALS team may be useful. Their number should be on the hospital's website. Some seem very helpful, others not so but probably worth a try. Your poor Dad is obviously looking after your mum far better than the hospital is.

Never need to apologise for along post! Let us know how things go and good luck.
 

Bigmomma

New member
Jun 6, 2021
2
0
Hello @Bigmomma

What a horrible situation. It's bad enough having someone with dementia in hospital without all that extra stress.

I imagine the hospital staff are ticking boxes as usual and no doubt have to put a certain process in motion if anybody mentions they are being neglected. I wonder if the hospital PALS team may be useful. Their number should be on the hospital's website. Some seem very helpful, others not so but probably worth a try. Your poor Dad is obviously looking after your mum far better than the hospital is.

Never need to apologise for along post! Let us know how things go and good luck.
Hi mum has now been transferred to Broomfield and no one bothered to tell us so I go to visit her and find she has gone. We can't visit her in Broomfield die to being on a surgical ward. We now have an ongoing complaint with Southend. Thanks for your help
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
3,709
0
That is not good @Bigmomma. I hope now you know where your mother is, I hope the new hospital keep you better informed.
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
1,733
0
Hi mum has now been transferred to Broomfield and no one bothered to tell us so I go to visit her and find she has gone. We can't visit her in Broomfield die to being on a surgical ward. We now have an ongoing complaint with Southend. Thanks for your help

Good grief, that's appalling. I hope that Broomfield keep you up to date and that it turns out to be a good move.