My Mum has dementia & after a memory test recently, the dementia nurse thinks she may also have Alzimers.

[Amy23]

Hello, my Mum is in a care home & has vascular dementia,after a recent memory test, they think she may also have Alzimers.
She has had dementia for 2 years & I am really struggling with how I'm feeling. I feel sad a lot of the time watching the Mum I knew disappearing in front of my eyes,though am finding it hard to grieve as there is always something practical that needs doing. I also feel angry at times that this has happened to my Mum. If anyone has any advice on how they cope with a love one with dementia I would appreciate it, thankyou.

 

[canary]

Hi @Amy23 and welcome to Talking Point

Dementia is an umbrella term which covers many different type of dementia. Vascular dementia is one type and Alzheimers is another. It is very common to get vascular dementia plus another type and this is called mixed dementia.

It is not unusual for the precise diagnosis of exactly which type of dementia you are dealing with to change during the course of the disease. It doesnt actually change very much on a practical level, although in this case the doctors might try donepezil (or similar drug) which can only be used for Alzheimers, to improve the symptoms a bit.

feel sad a lot of the time watching the Mum I knew disappearing in front of my eyes,though am finding it hard to grieve as there is always something practical that needs doing. I also feel angry at times that this has happened to my Mum.

I think we can all relate to that. I think dementia is one of the hardest diseases to care for.

 

[Jaded'n'faded]

The type of dementia the doctors think she has won't make the slightest difference to your mum!

The consultant who visited my mum (after a fall, a stay in hospital then a move by me to a care home) said she 'probably' had vascular dementia. Then he talked to me for 20 minute and I told him how she'd been for the past few years (somewhat dodgy but essentially just about managing). He then decided it was 'probably' mixed dementia, i.e. vascular + Alzheimer's.

There was no follow up, no advice, no visits from anyone, not even a flippin' leaflet. However, I did find this forum and have since found answers to all my questions here

The different types of dementia often start out in a slightly different way but they generally end up the same, particularly in the later stages. Many people here are caring for someone with mixed dementia so I hope we can offer some support. Keep posting...

 

[AMVT]

The guilt is the hardest thing to live with above all else. It ebbs and flows, sometimes it overwhelms me, sometimes I can live with it, but it’s always there. My mum moved to live in a care home last Nov. She is just 69. I’m 41 and have a beautiful 6 yr old daughter who keeps me going. Unfortunately my dad really struggled with caring for mum. I work in social care and just couldn’t see that carers coming in would have helped, because she hated accepting help from strangers. So I organised respite to give them both a break and she’s ended up staying there. I will never recover from the guilt I feel. I wish I could bring her home but I’m not sure whether it would work. Her Alzheimer’s has progressed but she’s much calmer and less agitated than she was, much more settled and happier. It’s undoubtedly the care she receives at the home which has caused the improvement- but I will always wonder if I could bring her home. What you are feeling is completely normal, even when you feel all those emotions within the same minute! You are not alone ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️