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My mum has AD


Registered User
Mar 13, 2005
Hi all

Im upset, i cry and even now im having nightmares

My mums has been in hospital for 2 months, we all thouht she was suffering from depression, but about 2 days ago we found out that my mum has AD. I felt num
i didnt know what to say to the doctors, i couldn't even look at him in the eyes, it was too much to take in.

The thing that hurts the most is that my mum is 42, and goin to be 43 in the next 2 weeks.

When i see her, i think WHY, me and my mum had our ups and downs but she never did anything wrong, but when you see her now you know something is wrong.

I have my sister 20 and my brother 12, i don't know how they are going to cope, all i know i need to be strong for them.

Sorry i had to pour my heart out, some people know but sometimes they don't understand as they are in shock.


Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
near London
Hello Jazz

Thanks for posting your message here.

One of the first areas they checked with my wife Jan was the possibility of depression, though I told them all along that depression was the result, not the cause of her being unwell. They also tried excess alcohol as a cause [rubbish], and heart conditions [ruled out by many tests.]

They have to check out all the most likely causes before making a diagnosis of dementia - especially in someone as young as your Mum.

It seems particularly cruel for someone your Mum's age to be hit. It seems she is in the early stages, so try and make the best of every moment you have with her.

Has Mum been told she has Alzheimer's?

Do use Talking Point to ask questions, or seek advice, or just to complain about the unfairness of life! We have all done this at one time or another. Also use the material available on the main Alzheimer's Society web pages to understand things about Alzheimer's better.

Please let us know how you are getting on.

Best wishes


Registered User
Dec 27, 2004
hi jazz
how cruel life can be, i wish i could offer you great words of wisdom , but right now i can only give you all my sympathy,i thought it could not be worst than my husband having problems at 55,,but since using TP i know there are people ,much younger.please keep posting ,there will be help for you along the way ,even if its just to listen ,and compare with.ANGELA


Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
Hello Jazz, sorry you have had to post with a mum as young as yours. None of us have all the answers, but very sympathic ears. Make the most of these earliest days, and ost again to tell us how things are going, regards, Connie


Registered User
Feb 25, 2005
Hi Jazz,

My Mum died from AD at 43 and was not diagnosed with it until she was 40. The doctors just kept saying that it was depression despite being given confirmation that there was a genetic form of Alzheimer's in the family from another doctor. So i know what you mean.
It's really hard where you are at the moment, but at least with a diagnosis you can now understand what your mum is going through and give her the best care possible. Little consolation i know, but no one can make this easier for you right now.
The most important thing to do is to get informed about the condition so that you are prepared for the effects. I was 17 when mum got really ill and if i had known then the things i know now it would have been so much easier.
I think that you start out asking why and being very angry and that is perfectly natural - it's like the stages of bereavement when somone you love is diagnosed. You should allow yourself to feel those emotions and express them too.
I have always been the silent type emotionally, supporting others and not taking care of my own state of mind - needless to say i am now finding things difficult. Be strong for your family, but let them in too - don't suffer alone!
Any time you feel the need people will be here to listen - whatever your problem is there will be someone who understands. It is a comfort for me now and my mum died 3yrs ago, so take comfort in the fact that there are others out there who understand your suffering and care about you!

Take care.



Registered User
Mar 13, 2005

I just wanted to say tankyou for everyone who replied back.

within a little space of time i have read alot about AD, all i can do is perpare myself emotional and physically. However, saying that, how do you perpare yourself for this.

but i have to say this site, has helped me alot by reading other people situation, i feel im not the only one feeling like this