My mum has a provisional Alzheimer's diagnosis

Mum51965

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Jul 8, 2024
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She was assessed and is now waiting for a scan. It took all I could do to persuade her to have the scan, because she is just saying "it's just old age" - I really want to believe that, I find myself thinking maybe she will return to her old self, even though I have watched this deterioration for more than 3 years. She is refusing medication too. I feel like I am losing her day by day.
 

Sirena

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Feb 27, 2018
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I'm sorry to hear about your mum @Mum51965
It is very common for people with dementia to be 'in denial' and have no insight in their issues, well done on persuading her to get assessed and have the scan.
How old is your mum? My mother was diagnosed when she was 80.
 

Mum51965

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Jul 8, 2024
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@Sirena she was 80 in January - She seems to swing between some sort of acceptance and total denial. This morning I said something about a care home and she said "at least I'd have company then".

I have Bipolar disorder myself which means, of course, that this is taking its toll on me too. I want to do the best for her. I have Enduring Power of Attorney (Scotland) and that feels like a heavy burden in itself
 

Sirena

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Feb 27, 2018
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I know exactly what you mean about it feeling like a heavy burden to have POA. In the first couple of years I found it particularly difficult, having to make welfare and financial decisions on her behalf - I really did not want to do it, but someone had to.

It is a good sign that she has mentioned a care home, and she may be right that it could work well for her. My mother has been in a care home for 7 years now, and after a few weeks of settling in she has really loved it. You could start to look around for a care home which would take her for a few weeks respite to see how she gets on. When I chose my mother's care home I used


There is a lady in my mother's care home who did actually choose to move in relatively 'early', as she had the insight that she couldn't cope and her children lived a distance away. That's really unusual but it worked out well for her.
 

Mum51965

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Jul 8, 2024
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Thank you so much @Sirena - I hope it is a long time before we need it - but at the same time, I fear it will be sooner than we expect.
 

Mum51965

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Jul 8, 2024
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I had a surprise today, I routinely ask my mum if she will consider meds (the diagnosis is fairly new) - she told the CPN that she didn't believe in meds!! Anyway, today I mentioned it and she said she might consider them. This is a massive step (and I don't know that it will last)
 

Mum51965

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Jul 8, 2024
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Got to my mum’s at 12.30 and she wasn’t dressed. She’d had a cup of tea but no food. She looks absolutely dreadful and I have no idea what to do. She’s not even safe on her feet. Dizzy and shaky. I am really worried. I think I’m going to tell the CPN tomorrow. I also might talk to her GP. The trouble is she really doesn’t want to be alive. I just feel that I am watching her fade.