My Granddad has become gradually more in need of help over the past 10 years. His physical mobility has deteriorated rapidly in the past year. In March he fell and went to hospital for two weeks (as they had to wait for tests to be done). He currently lives alone however since returning from hospital has had meals delivered to his dinner table and "carers" come twice a day in the morning and evening (we installed a key safe for them to enter). He has not been officially diagnosed with dementia however today we went to the Physiological Medicine department at hospital to have a follow-up after being discharged from hospital. The Doctor there said that she can tell he has senile dementia however due to him being on medication for epilepsy he cannot be prescribed with medication to help with dementia, so she did not carry out a dementia test as it would be a waste of time and stress. The issue we are having is that my Mum is getting increasingly stressed and frequently gets very upset about the situation but I do not know what to do. He constantly calls the house with tiny issues and when we go to his house as he has become incontinent the house and himself smell of urine and faeces. The lack of care from the carers makes her very stressed, for example he has only had one shower since returning from hospital and we consistently find his bed made but the sheets are covered in faeces. We want him to go into a care home however he does not want to. We find conversations with him about care to be very difficult as he has always been very stubborn, so we don't actually know why exactly he is opposed to going into a home. I have done some reading and all I can seem to gleam from it is that if he is able to make his own decisions (which the hospital deemed him to be able to do upon leaving) then we can't force him to go into a home if he is unwilling. My Mum is reaching her breaking point and I really want to sort something out and get him into a home for her however I don't know who to contact or what to do. I may have missed some details out so I may post below this with anything that comes to mine. I'm sorry if this post is rather jumbled as I'm just trying to get everything down but if anyone has any advice for me that would be fantastic.