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My mum, alcohol and my dad needs some support!

Discussion in 'Younger people with dementia and their carers' started by Elmo, Apr 30, 2015.

  1. Elmo

    Elmo Registered User

    Jun 1, 2013
    10
    My mum was diagnosed with early onset Altzeimers 2 years ago and just recently she has started to drink more and my dad is concerned. The last few nights he has found cups full of neat whiskey near my mum and she has obviously been drinking before he gets home from work. He has now removed all alcohol from the house but we are concerned that she will go out and buy more. She is still driving and we are obviously concerned that she will drive whilst drink and hurt herself or someone else. My poor dad is really feeling the strain at the moment and I really want him to access some support but he is too proud to do so. I think he needs to speak to other people who are going through similar things and to talk through strategies on how to cope with these new challenges. Has anyone any thoughts or ideas or know how to access support for my dad without him feeling bullied into it? :(
     
  2. jaymor

    jaymor Volunteer Moderator

    Jul 14, 2006
    12,495
    Female
    England
    Hi Elmo,

    Your mother needs help so could you put it over to him like that. When your Mum gets help then your Father will be helped because your Mum will get some treatment.

    It is dangerous that she could drink and drive, she could pass out and fall when no one is there. So many things could go wrong. Taking the drink away is not going to help if she is capable of going out and buying it herself. She probably forgets she has had a drink and every glass is the first as she sees it. Alcohol in excess is not good for someone living with dementia.

    Seeking help for Mum will help you all. See her GP for a start.

    Good luck,
     
  3. Kjn

    Kjn Registered User

    Jul 27, 2013
    5,835
    My dad started drinking more, I think forgetting what he had/was drinking when I think back, he was driving then , hiding drink etc. went to pub one night and was brought home by some locals who knew him (thankfully), just after with gp checks and lice Eve renewal he failed it so mum had to drive all the time.
    Your dad needs to step in now and maybe chat with gp. Good luck x
     
  4. BR_ANA

    BR_ANA Registered User

    Jun 27, 2012
    1,084
    Brazil
    Can your dad put water on whiskey bottle, so she will drink, however less alcohol.
     
  5. Kimberlumps

    Kimberlumps Registered User

    Aug 30, 2014
    4
    Epsom
    Hello,

    I had this for a few years and it got worse and worse. I feel like we've now reached got over a massive hurdle... A few tips that I wish I tried earlier...

    - if your mum likes white wine, get the boxed low alcohol wine from the supermarket approx £7 per box. Tastes fruitier than normal wine as is only 7% ish but after about a week of drinking it, she stopped liking the taste of normal wine as was too strong..

    - have lower strength alcohol / soft drinks on the table at dinner. The more she sees the likes of Shloer the better

    - Shloer - my mums now favourite drink (she drinks a bottle a day thinking its cava)

    - don't under estimate the importance of water / squash. It's all too easy for her to catch a UTI if she doesn't have enough fluids... Particularly if she drinks alcohol and coffee etc

    Car wise... SUCH a difficult hurdle as represents independence, normal routine etc. After a few too ,any near misses and drink driving we got Mum to take a driving test. She utterly failed but the instructor was brilliant as we had given him a heads up before. He explained to her in person about the dangers (as we had for a year!!) but was more than happy taking the advice from the professional. She never drove again.

    Hope that helps? :)

    Xx
     

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