Hi,
My mother died early this week, two days after she stopped drinking. I was on holiday in Asia at the time but am coming back for the funeral. At present I don't really feel anything for her death and I have not cried or changed my travel plans. I emailed my friends to tell them and their response was 'I am sorry for your loss, what can we do?' But it feels like i lost my mother so long ago there is no real loss. And there is also nothing that anyone can do. I may have responded differently if my friends had said 'what can I do' when I was struggle to look after my mother on the weekends but now there is nothing anyone can do. Society can cope with the concept of death but maybe not dementia.
It may feel more real when back in the UK and at the funeral. But that in itself I am dreading with all these family friends and friends of my mother who dropped off when she struggled to hold a conversation will come and talk about how much they missed my mother. I may struggle to respond to them sincerely.
I have also tried to put together some memories of her for this funeral but have failed miserably. My memories fall into two categories, ones when she was well and I was a child and teenager or memories of when she was ill. All of the ones when she was well though seem to revolve around me, so I remember her driving me to primary school, or her dropping me off at uni, or forcing me to revise for gcse's. I can't seem to remember her independent of myself when she was well.
I feel my post should be along the lines of 'my dear mother has passed, she is at peace, I am devastated' but truthfully that is not what I feel.
She was only 62 when she died and I am still in my 20s (just!).
Thanks
My mother died early this week, two days after she stopped drinking. I was on holiday in Asia at the time but am coming back for the funeral. At present I don't really feel anything for her death and I have not cried or changed my travel plans. I emailed my friends to tell them and their response was 'I am sorry for your loss, what can we do?' But it feels like i lost my mother so long ago there is no real loss. And there is also nothing that anyone can do. I may have responded differently if my friends had said 'what can I do' when I was struggle to look after my mother on the weekends but now there is nothing anyone can do. Society can cope with the concept of death but maybe not dementia.
It may feel more real when back in the UK and at the funeral. But that in itself I am dreading with all these family friends and friends of my mother who dropped off when she struggled to hold a conversation will come and talk about how much they missed my mother. I may struggle to respond to them sincerely.
I have also tried to put together some memories of her for this funeral but have failed miserably. My memories fall into two categories, ones when she was well and I was a child and teenager or memories of when she was ill. All of the ones when she was well though seem to revolve around me, so I remember her driving me to primary school, or her dropping me off at uni, or forcing me to revise for gcse's. I can't seem to remember her independent of myself when she was well.
I feel my post should be along the lines of 'my dear mother has passed, she is at peace, I am devastated' but truthfully that is not what I feel.
She was only 62 when she died and I am still in my 20s (just!).
Thanks