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My mother


Registered User
Jul 2, 2011
My mother is driving me nuts!She is relentlessly miserable and critical and today tells me she has shouted at one of the cares in care home because she didn't respond to her quickly enough.I have caused the problem I think,Mum wants to spend almost all had time in bed but her mental state when she does this is markedly worse,she talks to people who aren't there and loses all sense of reality.I asked manager to encourage her to get up,this led to incident today when she asked to go to bed,carer said 'in a child's got the height of abuse.Mum complains about being on her own when in bed,thinks carers should sit with her or will have little digs about me only 'popping in'.She has always played the martyr,no reason to expect her to change now.As people on here say I can't make her happy but she certainly knows how to make me miserable.I am not going tomorrow,I know it's Easter but I just can't face it


Registered User
Jul 30, 2014
By trying to get her up you were only trying to help. & have a good (guilt-free) Sunday.


Registered User
Jul 29, 2013
North East
Enjoy your day off today. Get your batteries recharged a bit. Don't feel guilty, if there is an issue at the home I'm sure they will ring you. She isn't alone, cold and in a dark room with a wet bed while you are living the life of Riley!!! No she is being cared for. She is warm, clean, fed and comfortable. Ok she will moan on, what's the worst that could happen??? I'm sure the carers in the home have dealt with all the things that dementia throws at them time and time again.

Happy Easter x

Amy in the US

Registered User
Feb 28, 2015
The "problem" is dementia and you didn't cause that. You are also not responsible for the fact that your mother is miserable and critical. Susy is right, you have seen to it that your mother is safe and cared for. You don't have to visit just because it's Easter or Christmas or Passover or Tuesday!

Come back and tell us how you're doing when you have a chance.