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My mother

Babajules

New member
Jan 22, 2021
2
0
My mother Thinks that me and my brother still live with her, she rings me up to see where I am and where my brother is, how should I respond.
 
Last edited:

Jessbow

Registered User
Mar 1, 2013
3,366
0
West Hertfordshire
Learn to tell love lies. Say you'll be back in a bit. Basically you learn to say whatever pacifies her ( within reason)

I'd be seriously quite worried about her being alone ( if she is) if she has got to that point.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,656
0
Essex
Thinks that me and my brother still live with her, she rings me up to see where I am and where my brother is, how should I respond.
Dear Babajules,

I think now might be a good time to think about getting carers in and as @Jessbow says you need to tell love lies.

MaNaAk
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
1,223
0
Hello @Babajules . As others have said, it is best to tell your mum anything which will make her feel better. and reassure her. For example, you are staying with friends/away at a conference. I agree that it may be time to think about carers or perhaps residential care if your mum seems afraid to be on her own. The website link below can be useful if you are in the UK (see bottom of main page for useful information about choosing care homes/types of home/funding and so on). If this is a sudden change in your mum's behaviour, make sure that she is checked for urine infections or other infections which can increase confusion considerably.

 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
5,212
0
Nottinghamshire
Welcome to Dementia Talking Point @Babajules

My dad thought I lived with him too and I used to tell him I’d been at work or whatever suited the time of day when he asked. It did upset me to think of the anxiety he must have felt wondering where everyone was so I arranged for him to have carers 3 times a day. I was still popping in to check on him at least once a day at this stage.

It wasn’t long after this that he needed full time care in a carehome and once settled there his anxiety subsided.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,656
0
Essex
It was the same with my dad eventhough I lived with him. He seemed to attract female within a few weeks of arriving at the care home.

MaNaAk
 

Babajules

New member
Jan 22, 2021
2
0
Thanks everyone for your advice she has carers 4 times a day, and it's only occasionally she thinks I still live with her, I just wanted some ideas of how to deal with it, yes I will tell love lies, that's a nice expression, because it hurts to lie, but also hurts when I tell the truth, so what ever is best for her, thanks again x
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
2,344
0
I lived with my dad for his last year but he never knew it. If I left the room for only a minute he would think I had just turned up. He always said 'I didn't hear you come in but it's nice to see you anyway' even if I had just gone to get him a drink or made a quick trip to the bathroom.

It's a very strange thing to deal with but I never contradicted him.