my mother just diagnosed with vascular dimencia

[sandysan]

hi guys ,
not sure where to start , but I am the daughter and my mom has recently been diagnosed with vascular dimesia, I am wearing myself out , ringing her 4/5 times a day and trying to go and see her everyday , and cleaning and tidying for her and taking her out in the last 3 weeks , but its now starting to stress me out , im trying to make her happy but it isn't working , im getting mentally tired , sounds very selfish I know ,
my mom is I think in denial she keeps phoning up hospitals and asking them if she has had a head scan as she is denying it , she said she don't know nothing about it , she only has the first stages of it ,
I don't know nothing about it really all I know is im scared and getting depressed and none of us want our parents to die , I don't know where to go for help and support , I know I have to try and be very patient with this sort of thing , and im not a very patient person altho I am trying so hard ,
I am married myself and have a family and I seem to be living my moms life I don't know what to do about it , if there is anyone that can share a bit of what I am going through or some advice I would appreciate it ,

many thanks
Sandra

 

[onlyme247]

Sorry Sandra I am not much help but could not just leave you as I could feel how distressed you are.Perhaps contact social services for help and your g.p.also the alzheimers society for help local to you.I am not very knowledgeable in most of this so let's hope some one will come along soon to help.I feel sure there is something for your problems.
I will keep you in my thoughts.

 

[Pete R]

Hi Sandra,

Try and read as many pages on here as you can. Not only is the advice excellent but you will also see that you are not alone and maybe not as "wicked" as you think you are.

Where did your Mom get the diagnosis? Did they not refer you on to Social Services or a Dementia Team?

Either way follow the advice by "onlyme247" and get onto both the GP and SS's straight away. Every day you delay is a day lost for you, your family and your Mom.

Good Luck

 

[malomm]

hi guys ,
not sure where to start , but I am the daughter and my mom has recently been diagnosed with vascular dimesia, I am wearing myself out , ringing her 4/5 times a day and trying to go and see her everyday , and cleaning and tidying for her and taking her out in the last 3 weeks , but its now starting to stress me out , im trying to make her happy but it isn't working , im getting mentally tired , sounds very selfish I know ,
my mom is I think in denial she keeps phoning up hospitals and asking them if she has had a head scan as she is denying it , she said she don't know nothing about it , she only has the first stages of it ,
I don't know nothing about it really all I know is im scared and getting depressed and none of us want our parents to die , I don't know where to go for help and support , I know I have to try and be very patient with this sort of thing , and im not a very patient person altho I am trying so hard ,
I am married myself and have a family and I seem to be living my moms life I don't know what to do about it , if there is anyone that can share a bit of what I am going through or some advice I would appreciate it ,

many thanks
Sandra

Hello Sandra, and welcome from me. I know what it's like when the caree denies there is anything wrong; and you have to try and be patient, and often bite your tongue, so I can feel for you. Your first post here is a step in the right direction, because so many TP members have been through the same, and will have lots of useful advice. I know that if you are in the UK your first port of call should probably be your mum's GP, and social services. Other members will be along I'm sure, with more specific advice. In the meantime, big hugs.
keep smiling,
malomm