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My mother has MCI

Mendoman

New member
Jun 22, 2022
2
0
Hello, I'm new here and this is my first posting, so please forgive me if I'm posting in the wrong place. My mother has MCI and within the last month it's gotten worse. She can't form new memories, and therefore she'll ask the same question several times in succession, or tell the same anecdote several times over. I can be patient - it's hard at times - but the biggest challenge is that I still work, and sometimes she'll call and I'll be on the phone for an hour or so hearing the same stories over and over. Does anyone have any advice for how to lovingly handle this? Telling her that I've already heard this story only embarrasses her and makes her feel bad. I'm especially busy right now and can't afford to spend that much time on the phone. The other thing is that in the last month or so her condition has worsened. I don't live near my parents and this past weekend I traveled to another part of the country for a wedding (my parents were unable to attend). She knew I was flying, and when I got back home I got 3 messages from her saying how good it was to see me again. She apparently thinks I was traveling to visit her and my father. This is really hard, and it's uncharted territory for me. Her next scheduled appointment with her neurologist isn't until October and I'm wondering if it's worth letting the neurologist know about the recent downturn. My father is pretty much in denial and thinks she just needs to focus and pay more attention. I can't convince him that her brain just doesn't work that way anymore. Any advice or thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks!
 

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
9,148
0
Bristol
Hullo and welcome @Mendoman.
Sadly both problems are fairly common with dementia. I would definitely make notes and let the neurologist know as much as you can about the progress of your mum's condition. Regarding the repetition and how to handle it diplomatically or lovingly there is a thread that has some helpful tips on https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/threads/compassionate-communication-with-the-memory-impaired.30801/, I hope it helps. My late partner's children were in denial for years and sadly it took a crisis situation to make them realise what was happening to their mum. I hope someone can give you advice to make sure that does not happen for your dad to realise.
 

Mendoman

New member
Jun 22, 2022
2
0
Thanks @nae sporran this is helpful and I'm going to share it with my sister. My Dad is notoriously stubborn, so I don't know what it will take to convince him.
I'm sorry you lost your partner, and it sounds like it was very difficult. My sincere sympathies to you.