I need some guideance please I really dont know what to do. My mother aged 82 has dementia and is cared for at home by my dad aged 80.My mothers condition is deteriorating to the extent she is not washing or changing her clothes, because she does not realise she needs to do this. My dad does not like to discuss this with me and despite me telling him it will be better for him and mum to have help , he is being very stubborn and burying his head in the sand about things. Currently he has only me to help out when I can - I work full time and have 2 jobs to cover my bills (recently divorced)so cannot visit everyday. I can see that they need help and it is so upsetting to see them this way. Where do I start to look for help ? Should I visit my doctor ? Dad said she had eaten raw gammon from the fridge thinking it was ham recently. I have started to go in and place a bowl of water in front of her and have found that she will wash herself if I tell her what to do and where to wash but only after a verbal fight.To top this she also has breathing problems and has oxygen at home. Please can someone guide me - I need to get Dad to accept this and accept help, but what help is there and how do I go about getting this for them ? The house is really bad too, smelly and dirty but he wont accept help..Onlychild39.