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This is me. My husband died nearly six weeks ago and like you son’t Know what to do or what I want. I am going home today after staying at my daughters house since he died. She dosn’t Want me to go back yet but ai have to sometime.I feel ungrateful. My SIL is away for the week and her husband , who has been very helpful phoned last night to say that he was going to take me to a big household and garden store to get me out of the house today. I put the phone down and sobbed.
He has just phoned, he can't make it today.
One minute I want company the next I want to be left alone.
One minute I feel strong and want to go on a solo holiday the next I don't want to go anywhere.
One minute I want to move then the next minute etc etc
I know it is grief, so, so painful. My doctor wanted me to contact Cruse, which I have done. It is hard remembering the good times, the last year or two was dreadful.
The SIL helped me to take MH's clothes to charity shops, so many nice things that had hardly been worn. I found it therapeutic, someone else would love to have a nice jacket etc.
I have kept some things that he always wanted with him, his old comb, his wallet with £10 in it, his watch, his favourite gloves, his scarf..........sorry to go on, this is the only place that I can.
I feel better for writing this, I am not in a good place for big decisions so I will try to just be.