My life- without the one I love

Discussion in 'After dementia — dealing with loss' started by LYN T, Mar 4, 2015.

  1. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,968
    Brixham Devon
    Thank you everyone. It was easy to make the decision Celia as I know that my restlessness will never go away as long as I stay here. I'm a country girl at heart and even though I live with a nature reserve backing on to my garden, and a river, I need the space of open countryside that Devon offers.

    I can't live here without Pete and I'm sure that moving is no miracle cure for heartbreak, but I hope I will be able to find some peace when I move.

    Thank you again for all of your best wishes

    Love

    Lyn T XX
     
  2. Dazmum

    Dazmum Registered User

    I love Devon too Lyn. I really admire you doing this and I'm sure that in time, you will find peace there in such lovely surroundings xxx
     
  3. NanLorac

    NanLorac Registered User

    May 14, 2012
    686
    Female
    Scotland
    That was fast.:eek:

    I hope you will be very happy in Devon Lyn.:)x
     
  4. Sue J

    Sue J Registered User

    Dec 9, 2009
    8,042
    How lovely this has happened so quick, pleased for you Lyn:)xxx
     
  5. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,429
    I seem to have missed this thread.

    I just wanted to say, Lyn, that the house and village you have found sounds wonderful and I'm so pleased for you.
     
  6. pony-mad

    pony-mad Registered User

    May 23, 2014
    1,073
    Mid-Wales
    Wishing you comfort in your new venture. The house sounds wonderful, and the dogs will be well catered for!!!
    Love Gx


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  7. nellbelles

    nellbelles Volunteer Host

    Nov 6, 2008
    8,328
    leicester
    Wishing you well... It sounds so much of a positive move forward. xx
     
  8. Early riser

    Early riser Registered User

    Mar 16, 2014
    23
    Yorkshire
    Wishing you Love and Best Wishes as you set out on the next part of your life's journey.

    As you always say
    Take Care
    Love xx
     
  9. Lindy50

    Lindy50 Registered User

    Dec 11, 2013
    5,287
    Cotswolds
    Phew! Just caught up, Lyn! You're quite literally a fast mover :cool: Your house in Devon sounds wonderful, and in a perfect environment too :) I hope if all goes through smoothly, you certainly deserve it.

    Love,

    Lindy xx
     
  10. WIFE

    WIFE Registered User

    May 23, 2014
    857
    WEST SUSSEX
    So pleased to read your news Lyn. Hope all proceeds smoothly. I probably will not be too far behind you - someone in the village here desperately wants my bungalow - in fact approached me cold in the street and asked me if I would be moving in the near future. Seems too good a change to miss and my husband's nieces are already planning my move to Bedfordshire! Might just take them up on it. Good luck and love.
     
  11. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,968
    Brixham Devon
    A month and a bit on and the sale/buying is still going through. A fairly big chain but nothing broken yet:) Since I last posted on this thread I've been a bit down-but still sort of fighting. BUT I have been depressed/tearful/just getting by. I feel broken somehow-a strange feeling. In the last week I've stopped taking Pete's ashes to bed with me-not too much room in a double bed anyway with a cat and two dogs sharing with me!

    Life is hard at times isn't it?

    Love to you all

    Lyn T XX
     
  12. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,101
    Kent
    It`s a tough time Lyn and sadly one you have to face alone. I still get moments of sadness and more than a year`s gone by. I don`t think they`ll ever really go.
     
  13. Saffie

    Saffie Registered User

    Mar 26, 2011
    22,501
    Female
    Near Southampton
    #53 Saffie, Apr 27, 2015
    Last edited: Apr 27, 2015
    O Lyn, bless you. You've done so well but it's not easy I know.
    I do think it does get a bit better though - but not all the time.
    I'm not in the dreadfully dark place I was at the end of last year though do still have frequent tearful times but it's ok as I think that's probably always going to happen.

    Your life was so full of Pete. Like so many of us, you put your life on hold for him and his wellbeing was at the forefront of your mind and heart for such a long time. There is bound to be a hole there now.

    I'm glad the move is going well. That will help you I'm sure as you will have so many places to explore when you move and new people to meet as well as those you already know.

    Be kind to yourself and keep Billy and Cindy and the cat (what's her/his name?) close by. You all need each other.

    As always, loads of love. xxx
     
  14. jan.s

    jan.s Registered User

    Sep 20, 2011
    7,352
    Dear Lyn,

    I'm glad your move is still on the go. It all sounds wonderful.

    I'm sorry to hear that you've been so down, I can relate to that. And yet, during that time you have always posted so positively for me, Thank You.

    You take care and Dougal sends Big Billy and Cindy lots of sniffs!

    Jan x
     
  15. WIFE

    WIFE Registered User

    May 23, 2014
    857
    WEST SUSSEX
    Crossing fingers and toes that your move keeps on proceeding smoothly, Lyn. I understand entirely that sad, dark place you go to from time to time. Just have to "weather the storm" until it passes if you can. Silly little things set me off now and I just give into it until I feel calmer and can get on with life. Husband's ashes in a very nice wooden box in the bedroom but he complained of feeling claustrophobic so have moved him into the sitting-room! Am I going crazy? Thinking of you and hoping for the best for you. WIFE
     
  16. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,968
    Brixham Devon
    Thank you Sylvia and Saffie-you have both given me encouragement that things WILL get better-even if the sad feelings do still return on occasions. I guess that's how it should be.

    Saffie-little cat is named Misty. No idea why Pete chose that name. She's pure black with just one white spot on her right shoulder.

    Jan-give Dougal lots of kisses from BB and Cindy

    Di-no you aren't mad. When I went on holiday to Devon last month I took Pete with me:)

    Have good days one and all

    Love

    Lyn T XX
     
  17. Saffie

    Saffie Registered User

    Mar 26, 2011
    22,501
    Female
    Near Southampton
    Thinking of you Lyn.
    Just go with the flow.
    Cry when you need to - you have no choice really, do you - but find some happiness where you can.
    It is your life and there is no rush to 'move on' with your emotions.
    Pete will always be in your heart. xxx
     
  18. WIFE

    WIFE Registered User

    May 23, 2014
    857
    WEST SUSSEX
    Saffie - I feel you have highlighted something that has been troubling me and no doubt others who have experienced bereavement. I feel such a responsibility to "move on" with my emotions for the sake of my friends. I fear they will become bored with me if I continue to be fine one day and not so fine the next so put on a "front" however I feel. It is so easy to become reclusive just so that You can feel how you feel in seclusion. Hiding the emotions though somehow seems like a betrayal of my innermost feelings for my husband. Have I explained myself clearly? Hope you feel more at peace with your feelings in time Lyn. Thinking of you and the January Lads always WIFE
     
  19. Saffie

    Saffie Registered User

    Mar 26, 2011
    22,501
    Female
    Near Southampton
    I think I know what you mean, Di. I think it's almost second nature for me to put on a front in public, as it is for many others too and I reserved my tears and emotional despair until alone. I felt guilty if I cried in front of others and did everything I could to stop myself and disguise any tears that escaped.
    I think it's because I felt others would feel awkward and, let's face it nobody want to spend their time with a wet blanket anyway. I don't think it did me any good though and why I'm telling Lyn to take her time.

    To be honest, I don't know why I'm writing in the past tense as not a lot has changed even now. People I meet seem to think that life has moved on as indeed their's has.
    I'm not so sure about mine though. with empathy xxx
     
  20. WIFE

    WIFE Registered User

    May 23, 2014
    857
    WEST SUSSEX
    Lyn and Saffie - everyone who is suffering the sad, dark, loneliness of bereavement however long ago - I send warmest thoughts of comfort. I think of you all often and hope that "time" will ease the pain for all of us. You are right Saffie - people seem to think that I am "fine" now - four months on - so don't feel a need to ask or offer condolence. It hurts in two ways - the feeling that my husband is "dead and gone" therefore forgotten and the other that I am obviously coping so have no need for compassion or even kindness. That is why TP is so important - everyone understands. Thank you all.
     

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