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My life- without the one I love

LYN T

Registered User
Aug 30, 2012
6,960
Brixham Devon
Hi Everyone

I thought I would give a little update; Pete passed away nearly 3 months ago-and I'm hoping that I won't always feel this sad. Friends have told me the first anniversary is the turning point in feeling 'better' so roll on next Christmas:eek:

I've been busy though. My house will be put on the market this weekend-I intend to move away. I know, I know! Everyone says don't make any quick/rash decisions after bereavement -but it's not quick and it's not rash. Pete and I always planned to move to Devon when we retired. Pete lived there for a couple of years and I lived there until my teens. Since last May, when I was told that Pete was not long for this world, I decided I would continue with our (now mine) plans. So this Friday I will be going on a week's holiday to Devon to look for a house! I have 14 short-listed!

The estate agent who is selling my present home has people lined up to look and I know there is a genuine waiting list for people who have expressed an interest.(my friend and neighbour works at the agency.)

I will, of course, have a succession of visitors from the area I live in now. My daughter will be further away but I drive so no problem and I suspect that she will relocate one day.:) Pete's cousins/second cousins will be close by so I will know people initially and get to know others-I can be quite sociable. So Friday myself, the dogs and Pete's ashes (I just couldn't leave him behind) will be off.

Watch this space:eek:

Have good days everyone

Love

Lyn T XX
 

Jessbow

Registered User
Mar 1, 2013
3,024
West Hertfordshire
I think its a good idea, follow your dreams, Pete will come with you in your heart, always.

Yes, although it was different for me, (it was my Mum) AND Dad within the space of 16 months, you do brace yourself, anticipate the bridges and from somewhere find the strength to cross the bridge, and the first time is always the hardest.

Your birthday without them
Their birthday without them
Christmas
the anniversary of their passing
your wedding anniversary

and all the others

But from somewhere you WILL find the strength, and WILL go on positively with Pete in your heart.
Following that shared dream alone is to be nothing but admired, Live life and enjoy life, as Pete would have wanted you to.
 

Saffie

Registered User
Mar 26, 2011
22,507
Near Southampton
I hope you have a fruitful week in Devon Lyn.
I know this is important to you and I think you know your own mind better than anyone else so you must do what will make you happy.
I'll miss thinking of you just down the road though! xxx
 

LYN T

Registered User
Aug 30, 2012
6,960
Brixham Devon
Yes, although it was different for me, (it was my Mum) AND Dad within the space of 16 months, you do brace yourself, anticipate the bridges and from somewhere find the strength to cross the bridge, and the first time is always the hardest.
Aw thanks for your encouragement Jessbow.

Different for you?.No! Grief is grief, loss is loss-it's the same feelings whoever you have lost.The sadness of losing a loved one is so overwhelming.

Love

Lyn T XX
 

LYN T

Registered User
Aug 30, 2012
6,960
Brixham Devon
I hope you have a fruitful week in Devon Lyn.
I know this is important to you and I think you know your own mind better than anyone else so you must do what will make you happy.
I'll miss thinking of you just down the road though! xxx
Just think of that road as being a little bit longer than it was, with a couple more bends and hills along the way.

Love,

Lyn XX
 

Lindy50

Registered User
Dec 11, 2013
5,239
Cotswolds
Oh Lyn, you have brought tears to my eyes, tears of admiration. It is wonderful to think that you can make a new start, at the same time as fulfilling Pete and your joint dream :)

It doesn't sound rushed to me at all, it sounds just right, especially as you lived in the area when you were younger.

I hope you like one of your shortlisted places, and if not, well, there's time to look again. I can just picture you on your journey.....

Good luck and looking forward to more updates :)

Lindy xx
 

Soobee

Registered User
Aug 22, 2009
2,734
South
Enjoy your trip, I hope you find what you're looking for in Devon. My dad's best friend moved there about 15-20 years ago and he loves it there.
 

meme

Registered User
Aug 29, 2011
1,953
London
good luck ..I have a feeling you will find somewhere lovely and fairly soon...x
 

Loopiloo

Registered User
May 10, 2010
6,118
Scotland
Dear Lyn, I think it is wonderful that you are following what you and Pete planned, and he would be happy for you. As Saffie said, you know your own mind, and it is not a sudden decision.

Have a lovely week in Devon, I hope you do find the house which feels right for you, and imagine you will ‘talk it over’ with Pete.

It is lovely that you have written this new thread, and I’m sure we will all be watching out for your updates.

Good luck!

With love
Loo xxx
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,311
Kent
Well done Lyn.

You do what feels right for you. Well meaning friends are just that but if you can achieve yours and Pete's dream it will bring you war that in your heart and comfort even if he is not here to share it with you

There is so much happening to me in India I know Dhiren would have loved and even though he isn't here to share it I know he would be pleased.
 

WIFE

Registered User
May 23, 2014
856
WEST SUSSEX
Sincerely hope you find what you are looking for Lyn though I imagine it will be a little bittersweet without Pete. Will be thinking of you - hope the weather is kind WIFE
 

Helen33

Registered User
Jul 20, 2008
14,697
Dear Lynne,

I think it is good that you have made the decision to follow the dream both you and Pete had. It will be great if you find the house of your dreams on this first trip down there. It does take some courage though and I will be wishing you everything you would wish for yourself.

Love
 

garnuft

Registered User
Sep 7, 2012
6,585
I don't think your dreams should change, it shows they were real plans rather than pie-in-the-sky ideas.
I think Pete would be cheering you on and nudging you forward, closer to your dreams, writing new chapters of the book.
He would want you to be happy, Lyn...happiness doesn't come knocking on your door, you have to seek it out.
Good for you for having the gumption, I have a feeling Pete would be proud. XXX
 

Sue J

Registered User
Dec 9, 2009
8,035
Dear Lyn

Brave ladies do brave things. I hope you have a lovely week brave lady:love
Suexxx
 

Spamar

Registered User
Oct 5, 2013
7,157
Suffolk
Good luck Lyn, Devon is one of my favourite places. I admire you for getting on and fulfilling your and Petes dream.
May everything go well. Be sure you keep us updated!
 

MeganCat

Registered User
Jan 29, 2013
356
South Wales
I really admire you for having the courage to follow the dreams you had, Devon is a beautiful part of the country - I wish you all the best,
 

pony-mad

Registered User
May 23, 2014
1,073
Mid-Wales
Dear Lyn, fulfilling your shared dreams is a wonderful way to celebrate the love that you had for each other. I know that your choice of home will reflect Both of your tastes and personalities. You can fill it with memories of a well Pete instead of being reminded of the life as dominated by dementia.
I wish you all the very best in you adventure.
Love G x


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