Keep going and start to open yourself up to questions others can offer answers to. There is no blame here and it is no ones fault what happens in terms of our loved ones. I am sure once you become at ease with yourself you will begin to find answers because others in the same or similar situation will reply that I am sure. Don't be too hard on yourself over something you could have done nothing aboutThank you @Palerider , none of it makes sense, writing it down unravels it a bit,
My journal has also been a great support @Agzy , especially appointments, medication changes etc as well as my feelings.I am halfway through my 8th year journal and was advised by Paulines psychiatrist to start it when she was diagnosed. I rarely look back now as it makes me sad but it has been a great support at times as they are words and thoughts to me about us and so I can vent or rage, cry or laugh as much as I like and no one criticises me - except myself that is.
The only down side for me is how it accentuates how lonely I have felt and how often.My journal has also been a great support @Agzy , especially appointments, medication changes etc as well as my feelings.
Hello @Agzy , the loneliness is awful. Trying to adapt to being on your own at home is hard. But I felt lonely when MH was here, towards the end there wasn't much of real conversation with him. Being a carer can be incredibly lonely.The only down side for me is how it accentuates how lonely I have felt and how often.
?Hello @Agzy , the loneliness is awful. Trying to adapt to being on your own at home is hard. But I felt lonely when MH was here, towards the end there wasn't much of real conversation with him. Being a carer can be incredibly lonely.
Hi there @Little mothHello @Agzy , the loneliness is awful. Trying to adapt to being on your own at home is hard. But I felt lonely when MH was here, towards the end there wasn't much of real conversation with him. Being a carer can be incredibly lonely.
Hi @Little mothI'm still writing in my new journal, looking back I see that I have seen people and enjoyed myself but it is the time on my own in my home that's hard. During the day if I get too down I give myself something to do, often it's something that I don't particularly want to do but when I have done it I feel better.
But, the evenings, sometimes I busy myself, read, watch tv, do sudoku etc but sometimes my heart breaks and I miss him so much.
I have my last phone session with the Cruse lady on Monday and it has been such a help. I shall probably go to one their coffee mornings for bereaved people.
The best tonic that I have had is last weekend my sister took me to a Country Show, lots of people enjoying themselves, lots to see and do and sunshine. It gave me a nudge to do more in the garden which I have. xx