My OH has had Alzheimer's for over 11 years. I was 60 and he was 67 when he was diagnosed. For the last two years he was at home if we went to visit family he would want to come home within a couple of hours of being there. If we went on holiday he would want to come home within 24 hours. He hated going to groups, he just wanted to be at home "in his garden". Gardening had been his main interest outside his business all his life. We have nearly an acre of garden, and gradually it was me doing all the work, because all he could do would be to pick up a few sticks and carry them to the bin. He wouldn't use a container. He didn't know where his bedroom was, or the bathroom, and he needed help with cleaning his teeth, and he complained about food. He went into a CH in October because I was totally exhausted. It has taken him ages to settle, and he is very confused. I think he is worse when I visit because that reminds him of home, but I don't want him to think he's been abandoned. Yesterday I found a notebook in his room and he had written I AM HEARTBROKEN and I AM ASHAMED. It was very wonky writing, but that's how I feel too. My family say I must let him stay there because it's too much for me to have him home again, and he would become even more unsettled by being moved again, but I just don't know what to do. I've enjoyed being able to travel to see my grandchildren which I wasn't able to do when he was at home, and to be able to go and see my friends. He hasn't got any friends because he never bothered with people other than me and family, so no-one ever visited him at home. I feel so guilty.