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My husband has vascular dementia.

fearful

New member
Jun 9, 2021
2
0
He has started to go out of the house without telling me, he did this morning and I had a meltdown (everything getting too much) he had only gone to the corner shop to get some bread, which we needed and couldn't understand why I was upset. I have people who say o let them know if I need help or to just talk but I feel disloyal telling anyone I'm not coping because we have been married for 57 years it shouldn't be hard. should it?
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
6,097
0
N Ireland
Hello and welcome @fearful

It is hard, but easy to think that we can do it all. You are in the right place for support so ask any questions you like.

When my wife got more confused I let the owner of our local shop know about her dementia so that they could watch out for her and give her help if she ever seemed confused.
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
3,021
0
Hi @fearful and welcome to Dementia Talking Point. You've come to the right place for help and support. This is a very friendly place and you'll get loads of advice and practical suggestions here.
I don't know if these will help Find Support Near You , Vascular Dementia, Adjusting to your diagnosis
Does your husband accept he has vascular dementia? Neither my mother or my mother in law accepted that they were having problems, and vascular dementia has affected them in very different ways, so it's difficult to say what will happen over the next few months and years. My mother lived independently for some five or six years after we became concerned about her cognition, and my mother in law was fine until recently living at home with a bit of support from family. If your husband can get to and from the shops without getting lost I wouldn't worry too much, though as @karaokePete says maybe let them know so they can keep a look out for any difficulties. The shop owners in mum's suburb were all very supportive of her in her confusion. You can get trackers, I have no experience of them, but looking at this site may give you some ideas of things that could be of use Meet Adam.
It sounds like you could do with some support and a real life person to chat to. The Dementia Support Line 0333 150 3456 and dementia.connect@alzheimers.org.uk is a good place to start.
I'm sure others will be along shortly, but in the meantime using the search bar at the top of the page is a place to start looking for posts from people in similar situations. Some of the posts will be a bit old so you may not get a reply from the posters but they still contain useful information
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
4,407
0
Southampton
my husband has vascular dementia for 2 yrs diagnosed march 2020. he still goes out on the bus and to the local shop. he knows where he is going. with vascular, generally speaking its not so focused on the memory but on reasoning and logic and slow thought processes. i have only been married 32yrs and am 19 yrs younger than my husband. they tend to go down in steps. his temper has got worse although he seems calmer after taking sertraline anti-depressant. its about treating the symptoms.would he like go to some sort of club? mine goes to mens sheds where he can mix with men rather than me all the time and he gives me a break to have time to myself. i assume you have had a care assessment as well as a carer assessment? this can help. you are not betraying his trust but caring for yourself which helps to cope with your husband. otherwise you will be really stressed and exhausted. other medical conditions, you wouldnt expect to cope on your own, dementia is just the same.
 

Bettysue

Registered User
Mar 21, 2020
34
0
On the subject of trackers can I say that my partner has a Watchovers tracker from a company called TechSilver. It is like a digital watch. I have an app on my phone and can locate or track him. I got it after he had had a few escapades and I’d had to call the police. I don’t like him going out on his own but if he insists then I have peace of mind as I can see where he is.
 

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