my husband has alzheimers

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by paddiwak, Dec 14, 2015.

  1. paddiwak

    paddiwak Registered User

    Dec 14, 2015
    52
    My husband was diagnosed with alzheimers in September and a nurse from the mental health team came to see him and did an extensive memory test. A followup appointment was made for 3 weeks later for him to attend the clinic. Unfortunately the week prior to this appointment my husband started to have bad headaches during the evening. On the Friday he went out in the car (something he has not done - or I let him do - for some time), lost his way but eventually arrived home. That evening he became very distressed and kept saying he wanted to go home and that I wasn't his wife. Saturday evening another bad headache. Sunday an even worse one where he demanded I unlock the door and let him out, when I refused (as I was worried as to where he would go), he got hold of me and pushed me down onto the stairs. I let him out, watched where he had gone and then followed him and coaxed him back home. The next morning he was very agitated and in desperation I called the mental health nurse who came, he then brought in the mental health team who sectioned him under rule 2 for 28 days. I was very distraught so called a friend and we agreed to this action thinking it would probably be the best way to get help for my husband. After 2 weeks in a secure unit 50 miles away I am now seriously regretting my actions as I feel that he is being pulled down, mentally, by some of the very severe patients in the hospital. We are attending a 'discharge planning meeting' tomorrow and wondered if anyone had any advice as to what questions we should be asking or what to avoid so as not to antagonise the 'powers that be' as we would like to get him home as soon as possible.
     
  2. stanleypj

    stanleypj Registered User

    Dec 8, 2011
    10,684
    North West
    This must be very difficult for you paddiwak. I have no relevant experience but hope that bumping it will prompt someone who does have experience will respond.
     
  3. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,344
    Merseyside
    Welcome to TP :)
     
  4. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,731
    This must be so hard for you. I don't have direct experience but a discharge planning meeting sounds very positive. If they have his medication stabilised (which is probably why they wanted the 28 days sectioning) then the likelihood is that they will be speaking to you about how you can cope or if they feel he might be better placed elsewhere. It would be an idea to take someone with you - it is always better to be supported at meetings whatever they are because it is better to have two heads than one. If this is possible then discuss with the person who will be going with you what YOU want and make sure that they are supporting your wishes. If you need time to discuss with your supporting person during the meeting then ask to stop and have a 10 minute break - don't be worried about asking for what you want.

    From what you have said you have been seeing your husband during this time? If so you will have some idea about whether you can manage his needs at home? If you can make a list of the help that you would like to ensure that he can stay at home for the long term (of course things change sometimes so this is as you see it at the moment). So you will need help getting advice and the allowances you are entitled to. You might want to ask about the Admiral Nurse (specialist dementia nurses) service in your area and any regular help that they can put in to support you.

    I am sure others will be coming along soon with more direct experience. Good luck, will be thinking of you x
     
  5. paddiwak

    paddiwak Registered User

    Dec 14, 2015
    52
    Thanks for your support
     
  6. paddiwak

    paddiwak Registered User

    Dec 14, 2015
    52
    Thank you for your suggestions they were very helpful especially asking for a 10 minute break. I also hope they will let my friend take my husband out of the meeting so we can talk without him present as I find it very distressing discussing his actions in front of him and it distresses him to. My youngest son is over from Holland and is coming with me also. Didn't know about the Admiral Nurses but shall certainly enquire about them.
    Many thanks
     
  7. stanleypj

    stanleypj Registered User

    Dec 8, 2011
    10,684
    North West
  8. paddiwak

    paddiwak Registered User

    Dec 14, 2015
    52
    Thanks for your help

    Thanks for your advice. The meeting went well, my youngest son came with me. As well as the alzheimers tablet they have also given him a low dosage morphine patch to wear to reduce the headaches. Unfortunately that combination is making him feel sick and not interested in food which brings up another problem, as without much food inside him I feel his medication is going to make him more sick, what a merry go round!! He arrived home on Friday lunchtime on a 4 day leave with an assessment tomorrow morning. If all has gone well the leave will be extended until the 28 day Section runs out on the 28th December, when he will be handed over to the mental health team in Middlesbrough. Apart from the nausea he is also very confused, more so than when he went into hospital. I feel that the stay in hospital has been very detrimental rather than helpful. I'm just hoping that in another week, when his body has got more used to this new medication, that he will start to feel brighter in himself.
    I would like to wish you all a Happy Christmas and thanks again for your support.
     
  9. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,344
    Merseyside
    Ask them for some anti sickness tablets to help the nausea.
     

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