Hello,
I am so sorry that you are feeling heart broken.
These are very helpless times for many of us. Thankfully, there are many people on TP who are there for us, no matter what. Someone to hear us, and, know how we are feeling.
Last Saturday, I was at a very low ebb, I cried all day, it was our anniversary, and, Stan was none the wiser. I wished him happy anniversary, but, just a vacant look. Tried to give him a kiss, he opened his mouth, trying to eat me. So I wrote on TP " I'm having a bad day". I wasn't expecting any replies, it just felt better writing down how I felt. 8 Lovely people sent me, hugs, love, and lovely comments and thoughts.
Because Alan does not actually look as though he knows you, that doesn't mean, deep inside, that he doesn't. I've come to notice the little things from Stan, smiles, little gestures, that I know only apply to me, I know deep inside he is still here with me. If Stan had, had any idea that he would be like this, he would have told me to shoot him.
I do not believe their feelings change inside, memories or not. On Monday, Stan and I and had a very rare conversation, He wanted to know if we were going out, what my name was. I told him Marian, that I was his wife and I loved him. He replied he loved me too and puckered his lips for a kiss, whist having a kiss, he cheekily put his hand down my blouse - a little pat. So have heart, I do not believe they change, in their hearts they know who we are, and still care for us.
Not a lot of help, I know, but, I hope a little comfort. Bless you. I hope you feel a little better. Lots & lots of hugs.