My husband died on 24 January

Lilac Blossom

Registered User
Oct 6, 2014
609
0
Scotland
My husband died on 24 January thus ending his long struggle. He died peacefully and in no pain and I felt that it was a blessed release for him - overwhelming sadness for me.. His funeral took place a week later on an unseasonably beautiful day for this part of the country. Normally we can expect bitterly cold weather and often snow, lots of snow. Relatives, friends and neighbours gathered to pay respects and were very supportive towards me and our son and daughter.

Now everyone has gone home and I am dealing with notifying pensions, bank, etc and hoping that I do not miss out something important. Not trying to do everything at once of course. Not sleeping very well - feeling sad and lonely so I am thankful to have TP - finding some comfort in knowing that others understand .

Lilac
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
73,994
0
72
Dundee
I’m so sorry to hear your news.

I remember feeling that the days and weeks after the funeral seemed surreal. I’m glad you have DTP, You know you will find lots of support here. Keep posting. It helps.

Wishing you strength.
 

White Rose

Registered User
Nov 4, 2018
679
0
Sorry for your loss @Lilac Blossom, you are grieving and must give yourself love and time. I hope your son and daughter are a help and support for you. Look after yourself and remember happy times with your husband x
 

theunknown

Registered User
Apr 17, 2015
433
0
Thoughts with you Lilac Blossom. I'm assuming from your join date you've been living with this for quite a long time. I'm glad for you the funeral was able to take place pretty quickly. In my mum's case I had to wait three and a half weeks, even though the death was completely natural so no hold-ups. Too many vulnerable people dying in the winter unfortunately.

I'm glad you had a beautiful day weatherwise for the funeral. It's a double-edged sword isn't it? You wish the person you're there for could be experiencing what a lovely day it is; but also it seems less depressing to be there on that sort of day rather than an overcast, dreary day. Hope I'm not being tactless.
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
2,119
0
Bedford
Thinking of you. My OH (not dementia) also died on this date but 11 years ago. It is certainly a tough time but I felt that sometimes the ‘sorting’ out of the paperwork helped keep some ‘stability’ out of necessity. Look after yourself
 

myss

Registered User
Jan 14, 2018
449
0
I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your husband @Lilac Blossom. I'm pleased to read that you take some comfort that it was welcome release for him and that you are being supported.

Wishing you the best at this sad time x.
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
899
0
My condolences @Lilac Blossom, it certainly is a lonely time, and often bereavement when our loved one has suffered from dementia can be quite a confusing time - I certainly felt that. Having to take care of all of the administration is also a challenge at a time when you probably don't really feel like doing much at all. Stay strong and look after yourself, I hope you have some support around you.
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
3,274
0
My husband died on 24 January thus ending his long struggle. He died peacefully and in no pain and I felt that it was a blessed release for him - overwhelming sadness for me.. His funeral took place a week later on an unseasonably beautiful day for this part of the country. Normally we can expect bitterly cold weather and often snow, lots of snow. Relatives, friends and neighbours gathered to pay respects and were very supportive towards me and our son and daughter.

Now everyone has gone home and I am dealing with notifying pensions, bank, etc and hoping that I do not miss out something important. Not trying to do everything at once of course. Not sleeping very well - feeling sad and lonely so I am thankful to have TP - finding some comfort in knowing that others understand .

There is a service provided free to notify pensions etc. When we registered Dads death we were given the telephone number
DWP bereavement service
0345 606 0265

I expect you have this already.
It’s easy to feel bogged down with it all. I set myself 2 a day to deal with & usually fell asleep straight after!
Sending (((hugs))) & strength xxx
 

Canadian Joanne

Registered User
Apr 8, 2005
17,710
0
70
Toronto, Canada
My condolences to you and your children. I'm glad for your and your husband's sake that it was a peaceful passing. My mother's passing was peaceful also and I found it did give me comfort.
 

Lilac Blossom

Registered User
Oct 6, 2014
609
0
Scotland
Thank you all for lovely messages - I do feel encouraged and comforted by reading them and yes, I am truly thankful for a peaceful passing after a long journey starting in 1999 when he was diagnosed leukaemia. The side effects of treatments disguised some of the early signs of dementia for a while.

Our grown up children, in common with many of their counterparts, left home to find jobs after university so they are quite far away, one in London and the other in Edinburgh.

Thanks Desperateofdevon for the DWP telephone number - I had phoned them but appreciate your help.