my heart break

[Julez]

hi i'm new to this so bear with me. My dad had been ill for 2/3's of my life with heart problems. He had heart failure and was diagnosed with alzheimers at the begining of last year, because he had bounced back so many times before i believed he would bounce back from these. Sadly he passed away last August, three weeks before my birthday, it took a while to sink in but when it did my world came crashing down around me. Sat watching corrie on friday was so painful for me as it was like watching what happened to him. He had walked out of the hospital and went missing for an hour an half, could remember things from the past yet couldn't remember my name or that i'd had a child, couldn't remember where i lived and he was sat in my lounge. I'm grateful that he went quickly and didn't suffer for too long, yet the feeling of loss some days is so unbearable.
Thanks for taking the time to read this.
julez

 

[Amy]

Oh Julez,
I am so sorry to hear your story,; it must have been so painful for you watching Coronation Street. It is still very early days for you in terms of your grief; your dad's death eventually being so quick after he had fought heart failure for so long must have been such a shock.
Thank you for posting and sharing with us, there are always people here who will just listen.
Take care,
Amy

 

[connie]

Sweetheart, so sorry to read your post.

You must have been so upset watching Corrie, after all you have been through.
I do not know what is worse, loosing someone dear quickly, or watching them slowly deteriate.

Immaterial really. Just wanted you to know I am thinking of you, and thank you for sharing with us. I hope it has helped.

Connie

 

[Lynne]

Hi Julez

I lost my Dad many years ago, but you never really "get over it". However, time does bring a degree of acceptance, after the anger and feelings of the injustice of it all have burnt themselves down a little. The first year is the worst, getting past Christmas, all the birthdays and special family occasions.

From time to time 'reminders' (like Corrie for you recently) bring back a stab of pain and longng for how things used to be. For me it's little things like hearing someone whistling outside, or buying "Mum" cards (the Dad ones are always right next to them of course!)

What helped Mum & I to replace the haunting images of his time of illness was making up a family photo album. My brother lives in Australia, & 3 years after Dad died my Mum went out to visit for the first time, so we made up an album to show the kids. Whilst doing it we shared a lot of smiles, more than a few tears, and "do you remember ..." tales. Although painful at times, it was also very healing to remember Dad when he was still well, and it helped to chase away the more recent memories of illness, hospitals etc.

I don't believe in people sitting on clouds wearing wings after they die (or in them stoking the fires of Hell for that matter, although I might yet be proved wrong!) but I do believe that the essential spirit goes on, and that your Dad and mine are still around somewhere, so long as there are people who remember them. I'm sure your Dad is proud of you & wouldn't wish you to think of him with pain & sorrow, but with a smile for the good times, and the close relationship you shared.


PS: there's a thread called "Grief & loss" under the 1st section of Talking point, 'Support for ... ... ' which you might like to read