1. suzi

    suzi Registered User

    Jan 15, 2007
    12
    Hampshire
    I have just found this wonderful site,where at last people seem to understand how awful this disease is. My mother is in the final stages of dementia, she is always frustrated and unhappy, I am her only visitor in the nursing home.

    I always come away in tears, she is my world, and and I love her so much. life is just so unfair.

    I hope others relatives are more settled in their own worlds, as poor mum has always been so sad.

    The EMI home she is in is the most wonderful place and the staff are just brilliant, for that I am so grateful.

    I lookf forward to becoming aa part of this forum.
     
  2. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi Suzi

    Welcome to TP. I'm sorry your mum is so poorly. It's terribly sad seeing our loved ones decline.

    Post as often as you want to, there is always someone here who will understand how you are feeling.

    Love,
     
  3. DeborahBlythe

    DeborahBlythe Registered User

    Dec 1, 2006
    9,222
    Hello Suzi, welcome to TP. Try not to cry too much. If your mum were her old self, she wouldn't want to think of you grieving so much. There is some really good advice available from AS about looking after yourself as a carer. ( And yes, you are still a carer even when your mum is in a home.) You may be your mum's only visitor but she is lucky to have your love and support. Some people have much less than that. I sometimes think that my visits make no difference to my mother because she forgets them quite easily, but then again, for the time that I have been there, I have brought some comfort and quality to her day even if it is only to make her feel less alone for a short time.

    Yes, your mum is your world, but try to make space to have a world of your own too, with time to do nice things that are unconnected to your mum's care. AD will suck out as much energy as you want to invest, and then what will have become of you as an individual? I'm not too good an example of this myself, but I am working on it. Take care of yourself and it will help you to carry on supporting your mum.
    Love Deborah
     
  4. suzi

    suzi Registered User

    Jan 15, 2007
    12
    Hampshire
    Thank you

    Thank you for your lovely reply, it will be good to talk to others I am sure.

    Please keep in touch suzi xx
     
  5. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,661
    Kent
    Hello Suzi, Welcome. It`s heartbreaking visiting your mother and seeing the deterioration, especially when you don`t have anyone to share it with. Well it`s not perfect, but you can share it on TP, whenever you want and however you want.
    We have all been through it and are going through it and, speaking for myself, I have gained so much strength from sharing with strangers who have become friends.
    Post at any time Suzi, someone will always be here for you.

    Love Sylvia
     
  6. suzi

    suzi Registered User

    Jan 15, 2007
    12
    Hampshire
    Thank you

    Thanks you for you reply, it is alreay good to have a site where I can read people's views and support, I am really glad I have at long last found somewhere to go.

    Thanks again and enjoy your day xx
     
  7. Glad

    Glad Registered User

    Jan 13, 2007
    13
    Surrey
    Hello Suzi
    My Mum cries constantly and wants to kill herself. When she is suicidal she says she wants to stick her head in the gas oven (another family member took her life this way). Fortunately, they are all electric at home. I hate this cruel disease that causes so much grief and torment. To see your dear Mother, whom you have loved and looked up to for so much of your life, reduced to a wretched tormented soul is almost too much to bear, sometimes. But I try to remember how my children were when they were toddlers (the terrible two's) and I try to think that the distress that our mothers experience is similar to the wailing grief that you sometimes see in a small child, prostrate on a supermarket floor, to the embarrassment of their parents. It doesn't always help, but it's my way of coping with the horror of it all. Hope you get as much support from the forum as I have done. Love Glad
     
  8. mel

    mel Registered User

    Apr 30, 2006
    1,656
    Sheffield
    Hi Suzi
    Welcome to TP and i'm glad you've found us.
    I have had so much support and find comfort in the fact we all have each other to help us through this nightmare especially at times when it just seems too much to bear.
    Take care
    Love xx
     

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