Hi I hope that I am doing this right? My father is 84 years old and has been diagnosed with mixed dementia. I have had a very difficult relationship with him for the last 20 years since my mother died, but things have become worse over the last couple of years. I live 2.5 hours away from my father and he does not have any other relatives that visit him so my husband would take me to visit Dad at least once a month plus to any appointments etc. The problem is that on a visit to my Father back in August last year (we also had an appointment with his social worker within a few minutes) we were eating lunch and he started to choke so my husband slapped him on the back several time to no avail. At this point I saw that Dad's face had turned purple and his lips were blue so I shouted to my husband to "do that thing ( the Heimlich manoeuvre) on him, quick he's dying" and my husband replied "I can't as I'll hurt him" at this point my Dad was not making a sound and thankfully my husband did the Heimlich manoeuvre on him and it worked. My father said that he was okay and within a few minutes the social worker arrived and we told her what had happened and that Dad had almost died in front of our eyes. Later we went home and I rang Dad to check that he was okay and to let him know we arrived safely and he thanked us for everything we had done. The next time I spoke to my Father and ever since he has accused my Husband of beating him up and has said he wants nothing to do with him and he does not want me to visit as I am taking the side of my husband. I don't know what to do as I cannot reason with him.