My first, my last, my everything

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by northumbrian_k, Aug 5, 2019.

  1. northumbrian_k

    northumbrian_k Registered User

    Mar 2, 2017
    757
    Male
    Newcastle
    #1 northumbrian_k, Aug 5, 2019
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2019
    I have never really been a fan of the late walrus of love, Barry White, and in fact we walked out of a concert many years ago because the sound was so bad. But when The first, the last, my everything came on the radio - as it was a moment ago - I used to jokingly call it 'our song' and sing it to my wife. It made me smile today to think how she would react and how bemused the dog looked whilst I sang it to him instead. It's schmaltzy and overplayed but still opens a door to good memories of the life we used to have. My kind of wonderful, that's what you are.
     
  2. Starbright

    Starbright Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    414
    Female
    Our song @northumbrian_k was “Will you still love me tomorrow “. and yes I do but it’s sooooo hard sometimes to find him I know he’s in there.
    I do understand how you feel music just always brings back the memories doesn’t it.
    (((Hugs))) A x
     
  3. Agzy

    Agzy Registered User

    Nov 16, 2016
    840
    Moreton, Wirral. UK.
    Daft as it seems being as we were both aged 50 when we met our song became the Nat King Cole favourite, “ They tried to tell us we’re too young.” The reason was it was one of the first songs she heard me crucify on karaoke in the pub where we met and she enjoyed it. If I try singing anything to her now she gets very angry and indeed shows no interest in music at all. I still frequent the karaoke though.
     
  4. rhubarbtree

    rhubarbtree Registered User

    Jan 7, 2015
    462
    North West
    The first record we bought together was "I got you babe" We loved older peoples' reactions to Sonny and Cher. All that hair. Not many words but all so true. We were too young 18 and 21, married that year. He was my clown who sorted things when I was sad but that has all gone now.

    Last line is pertinent "Ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb". Not sure about that. This Alzheimer's mountain is pretty steep.
     
  5. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,384
    Kent
    Ours was Somewhere from West Side Story. We married in 1963 and in those days there were few places where mixed marriages were accepted.

    Now almost any sentimental and nostalgic song brings tears to my eyes. The power of music and meaningful words.
     
  6. Guzelle

    Guzelle Registered User

    Aug 27, 2016
    367
    Sheffield
    Our song was You Make Me Feel So Young by Frank Sinatra. I was 21 and he was 46. Now I’m 60 and he’s 85. I don’t feel so young now! He does still like Frank Sinatra he can’t always remember his name until I remind him!
     
  7. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,440
    Female
    Dundee
    Ours was Sailing by Rod Stewart. I was 25 and Bill was 46. He came to the school I was teaching in as the new headteacher. We had many songs but I think that was our first.
     
  8. northumbrian_k

    northumbrian_k Registered User

    Mar 2, 2017
    757
    Male
    Newcastle
    I can't top that @Guzelle and @Izzy, I'm a mere 64 to my wife's 78. Only when you have seen an 'age gap' from the inside do you understand that it is totally irrelevant to a happy relationship. And it's not just the province of the super-rich or rock stars.
     
  9. LizzieM

    LizzieM Registered User

    May 6, 2019
    27
    It was totally irrelevant but sadly now isn’t.... 25 year age gap here and feeling it as vascular dementia is latest (and in my opinion absolute worst) in OHs long line of mid to serious health issues
    His tastes in music have changed too - having professed himself a classical buff for years with absolutely no truck with anything remotely ‘popular’ I caught him singing along to a relatively recent tune on Desert Island Discs the other day - quite illuminating somehow :)
     
  10. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,440
    Female
    Dundee
    That’s lovely and how I always felt. Bill died 3 years ago last month when he was 86 and I was 65. He was always very young looking and remained that way. Any time I had to give his date of birth I always told people I wasn’t the same age as him!
     
  11. Palerider

    Palerider Registered User

    Aug 9, 2015
    537
    Male
    North West
    #11 Palerider, Aug 11, 2019
    Last edited: Aug 11, 2019
    Mums fave tune is Unchained Melody. It was mum and dads together, but sang by Jimmy Young. Mum wanted it played at the end of Dads crematroium service as everyone walked out, so I chose a version by the Royal Scots Dragoon Guards, more fitting to a funeral. It was well recieved and mum was glad she chose a song they both loved.

    I can't believe it but found the soundtrack:

     
  12. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,440
    Female
    Dundee
    How lovely!
     
  13. Palerider

    Palerider Registered User

    Aug 9, 2015
    537
    Male
    North West
    See above Izzy I found the soundtrack posted above
     
  14. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,440
    Female
    Dundee
    My goodness. I’ve never heard it played on the pipes before. I love the pipes (of course I’m biased!). It sounds very fitting for a funeral - very dignified.
     
  15. Palerider

    Palerider Registered User

    Aug 9, 2015
    537
    Male
    North West

    Being ex-navy dad was not permitted to have a piper at his funeral, though he always said he would like one, so the compromise between mum and dad was this version.
     
  16. Palerider

    Palerider Registered User

    Aug 9, 2015
    537
    Male
    North West
    I'm not quite sure why I posted any of the above, I am sure in the scheme of things it is quite meaningless
     
  17. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    2,359
    Not, meaningless, they all remind of a time when people were younger when we were not old or ill or struggling with loss.
     
  18. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,440
    Female
    Dundee
    I agree with @AliceA - not at all meaningless. I’m glad you posted.
     
  19. Donkeyshere

    Donkeyshere Registered User

    May 25, 2016
    155
    channel islands
    no post is meaningless
     

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