my fathers 82 and physically so healthy

[suzie]

my father is now at the middle stage of alzheimers, he is totally confused and seems to be living in the past about 50years ago. my mother is disabled and last week we reluctantly had to have him taken into emergency care because of his wandering. he is very fit for an old man and has even tried to scale the high fence in the care home, which he thinks is his work place.
today i bought him out for the day and he won't settle anywhere, he keeps checking the time and saying he must go now, always to work.
i dropped him of tonight and cried all the way home, he was sat in a chair waiting for work instructions, thought it was the night shift, he wouldn't go to his bare lonely room. will he live for years and years like this, hes 82 and his mother died at 94 after having alzheimers for years, my dad only left hospital 2 weeks ago, where he never sat down and only slept for a couple of hours here and there, hes such a great man and we are all heartbroken

 

[Angela]

Hi Susie
Im afraid no one will be able to tell you how long your Dad will have at any particular stage of this dreadful illness.
Im suprised that your Dad was allowed out of hospital without a suaitable care package, it would seem that maybe he wasnt properly assessed because they might have realised that he would of either been settled back at home, or as is the case, maybe benefited from some suitable medication.
When Dad was at home before he went into hospital was he has restless? If not then it could be all the changes to his residence that is causing the extra anxiousness about going to work etc.
I would suggest that he is taken home by a support worker or CPN for a short period during the day. If he settles reasonably then obviously the best bless for HIM is ti be at home with the approapriate carers visiting. If he does not settle after a few visits, then Im afraid it would appear that his dementia has taken a step, and he will not be as settled, and would benefit from the specialist care in a nursing home.

I know how more dreadful this illness is when it affects either the younger or the physically well older person.
Please continue to write to us and take care of yourself, you wont be able to help your dad if you are not well yourself.

 

[Sheila]

My fathers 82

Hi Suzie, I agree with what Angela is saying, it could well be the changes he has undergone of late that are increasing his agitation and confusion.
However, having said that, my mum is off to work every day! The other day she ransacked the garage looking for her bike, (she hasn't had one since she was 56, she's now 78), then came storming in and told me I was a ************************ *********************************************!!!!!!
Bacause I had chucked it out!!!! Nothing would pacify her, so we had to go into lock down because then she was off down the road, (we call this Dervish alert because thats what she's like, a whirling dervish when she gets like that and it helps if you try and make light of the situation) and then we just wait till she wears herself out. It's a nightmare because you are so afraid they will hurt themselves arn't you, they seem to go on and on without rest. I usually try a cup of tea, the paper , a phone call to another family member to get her to sit down, it might work on your dad, or something to do with his old job that he would have done that could be done safely now? Just suggestions, hope you get things sorted in your head about it soon, believe me, it is harder for you thinking about it than it is his doing it because he only lives in the moment now. Each time he does a thing he's forgotten having just done it, you are the ones living with the sight of seeing him do it over and over. Try not to get so upset, we can't win , we just have to do our best to keep them safe and love them.
Best wishes,
She,
XX

 

[May Smith]

Wandering

I have just found something that changed my life. It is a tracking device for my Dad. He wanders but is quite fit. As a result we were considering having him in care but as you know it is a difficult decision.

Basically I make sure he has the tracker on him when he gets dressed. The if I need to know where he is I can watch him in my PC, but the best bit is that if he leaves the close I get an SMS and so does my brother. This has changed my life! Thought I would share.

 

[Angela]

Hi May

I hoped you might be able to provide some more informatiom on the tracking device you have mentioned please?

 

[Brucie]

... from the other thread...

I thought I would mention that I a few items to support me as a carer paid for by the Direct Payments Scheme. They bought a tracker for my wandering Dad from these people:

www.bluetreeservices.co.uk

You need to get the support of your community nurse and I think they need to get some sort of clearance but it was no hassle and I would not be without the tracker, it is a serious help!

[Edited by Brucie:

There may be other products in the market that have similar function. One of the places you might look is www.atdementia.org.uk ]