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My father and his deceased siblings

Spitty

Registered User
Nov 7, 2015
19
Hi ,I am new to this forum,my father has had Alzheimer's fo 17 months,he is 85 as is my mother.He constantly hides his wallet and accuses mum of taking his money,she keeps getting upset and regularly gets annoyed with him.I have tried to say that he doesn't mean it ,it's the illness,but she says it's alright for me as I am not living with it full time,My question is when he asks where his brothers and sisters are,do we tell him they are all deceased,or not,at this moment he still knows most of our names,so I don't know what to do.thanks for any help .
 

Quilty

Registered User
Aug 28, 2014
1,051
GLASGOW
If you cant remember they are gone it would be cruel to remind him. There is nithing to br gained in trying to get him to understand reality. Say they are at work or on holiday or luve sonewhere faraway like Canada. Irs best to keep him happy so try not to argue. Its very hard i know. Best of luck.
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,072
Scotland
Most people believe it's better to smooth over dead relatives. I think it depends on the situation. My husband doesnt just ask idly where his brothers are - he has his hat and coat on ready to go visit them! All six brothers are dead and pretending otherwise just didn't work so I am very matter of fact and say they are dead and how and when that happened and then go straight on to talk about something else or offer a cup of tea.

It has taken a year of this approach but he asks less and less about them so it seems to have been right for us.