My father and his deceased siblings

Discussion in 'Middle - later stages of dementia' started by Spitty, Nov 8, 2015.

  1. Spitty

    Spitty Registered User

    Nov 7, 2015
    19
    Hi ,I am new to this forum,my father has had Alzheimer's fo 17 months,he is 85 as is my mother.He constantly hides his wallet and accuses mum of taking his money,she keeps getting upset and regularly gets annoyed with him.I have tried to say that he doesn't mean it ,it's the illness,but she says it's alright for me as I am not living with it full time,My question is when he asks where his brothers and sisters are,do we tell him they are all deceased,or not,at this moment he still knows most of our names,so I don't know what to do.thanks for any help .
     
  2. Quilty

    Quilty Registered User

    Aug 28, 2014
    1,051
    GLASGOW
    If you cant remember they are gone it would be cruel to remind him. There is nithing to br gained in trying to get him to understand reality. Say they are at work or on holiday or luve sonewhere faraway like Canada. Irs best to keep him happy so try not to argue. Its very hard i know. Best of luck.
     
  3. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,901
    Female
    Scotland
    Most people believe it's better to smooth over dead relatives. I think it depends on the situation. My husband doesnt just ask idly where his brothers are - he has his hat and coat on ready to go visit them! All six brothers are dead and pretending otherwise just didn't work so I am very matter of fact and say they are dead and how and when that happened and then go straight on to talk about something else or offer a cup of tea.

    It has taken a year of this approach but he asks less and less about them so it seems to have been right for us.
     
  4. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    11,742
    Female
    London

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