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My family member iis seriously struggling to care for my nan!

xoxo

Registered User
Jan 21, 2015
1
Hi im new to this and just want to say thanks in advance for comments

my nan has been diagnosed with dementia after the death of my grandad last year (shes even forgot that she was married to him for the last 60+ years.) my family member quit his job and moved in with my nan to care for her, changed her dining room to a nice bedroom, she got prescribed sleeping tablets which she takes sometimes if shes had a bad day as my family member found her trying to go toilet outside, she has broken her arms, her jaw and many other things, she doesnt go toilet properly, struggles to clean but refuses to let my uncle clean her which is understandable.

my family member is really struggling to look after my nan even though he has lots of brothers and sisters, 2 which live very far away, 1 is disabled, 2 work but the other two refuse to help at all as there to 'busy'. he has been offered help 45 minute a day 3 times a week but he is really struggling. he misses his work and is scared to leave her but he looks exhausted, he doesnt get a break at all. he has very bad depression even before he looked after her and tried to commit suicide by hanging himself the only reason he is here is by someone finding him and cutting him down!! my nan is very emotional and gets very confused and cries when she cant find him, she has a bed guard and stair gates, he needs professional advise but he doesnt know where to start... he did get help from 'rest bite' but they only came in the morning at 9am and left at 10am then 9pm till 11pm which didnt work as she wakes up at 6am and goes sleep at 8pm so she was already ready when they turned up and already asleep when they got there in the evening

is there any organisations that can help him?
 

Redpoppy

Registered User
Jul 31, 2012
268
Glamorgan s.wales
I felt I had to respond to your post--your uncle really needs far more help than he is getting. I think the first port of call should be her ( and maybe his) GP to start the ball rolling. I'm not knowledgable with the different agencies and departments,but Social Services need to know your uncle cannot cope like this any longer.Maybe Age UK and of course the Alzheimers society can advise you. I am confident someone here will be able to help with correct information,and there is always someone who will listen. I really hope the situation improves soon.
 

Beate

Registered User
May 21, 2014
12,015
London
He has to start with social services for a needs and carers assessment. There are different options available like carers coming in, day centre, sitting service, respite in a care home...

He should also make contact with his local Alzheimer's Society team, Age UK, Carers Centre etc who can offer practical and emotional support as well as help filling out forms and applying for certain allowances. If there is an incontinence problem, the Continence Service should do an assessment and can provide pads free of charge.