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My dearest husband has passed away

Hazara8

Registered User
Apr 6, 2015
512
I haven’t posted here in a while, but I have been following a few posts. On the 4th of June my husband was finally relieved of this terrible disease. He had a massive brain bleed and seizure on the 31st of May. He was taken to the hospital where he held on until the 4th June. The hospital staff were so lovely and also provided me and a family member with sleeping arrangements in his room. His heart was so strong, even given the other issues . My family and friends have been an awesome support, and I am so grateful to them all. Even though he had been in care for 4 years, I feel so lonely - he’s not there if I need to go and see him at any time. I had a holiday booked and paid for, so am going to still go, hopefully it will help me heal.
Whilst the one you love has gone, the anxiety, uncertainty, perpetual feelings of hope which as a constant part of one's daily life, tell on you even within the subconscious __ dissipate. You come to genuinely celebrate the fact that the one you have long cared for, is free of pain and all that dementia entails. Yes, that initial loneliness is very strong, seemingly an emotionally debilitating companion which feels like it will remain so forever. But it does not. A holiday will provide a different environment, a chance to breathe in refreshing air. Of course wherever one goes, you carry yourself with you and your thoughts also. Dementia intensifies relationships like nothing else and when the journey ends, the part of the relationship which has gone leaves it's other part hanging in a strange limbo. The world around you goes on regardless. So the two bereavements often spoken of do occur and feel all the more poignant when relating them to the Care Home. Those visits become a norm and a powerful norm too. It is no surprise that their cessation is profoundly affecting. I do hope the holiday affords moments of peace and reflection which inform you as to.the positive truths which are a genuine source of deep comfort. And we know that there are many, many people who contribute here, taking the same journey, shedding the same tears, bidding farewell to a loved one afflicted with dementia, and who understand. Such is the nature of dementia that it engenders such expressions of humanity and open discourse, all of which can but only afford the open respect and humility we find on here at TP. Warmest wishes
 

Casbow

Registered User
Sep 3, 2013
1,004
Colchester
I haven’t posted here in a while, but I have been following a few posts. On the 4th of June my husband was finally relieved of this terrible disease. He had a massive brain bleed and seizure on the 31st of May. He was taken to the hospital where he held on until the 4th June. The hospital staff were so lovely and also provided me and a family member with sleeping arrangements in his room. His heart was so strong, even given the other issues . My family and friends have been an awesome support, and I am so grateful to them all. Even though he had been in care for 4 years, I feel so lonely - he’s not there if I need to go and see him at any time. I had a holiday booked and paid for, so am going to still go, hopefully it will help me heal.
My lovely husband died on the 26th May. He had Dementia for 11 years. The last two years he was in a home. I know what you mean. The thought that I can't ever go and see him again is painful. I know he is out of the dementia hell so who would want him still here when he can be at peace. There had to be an inquiry into his death because it was unexpected. So his funeral on 3rd July, will mean we have had a very long wait to put him to rest. I do not know how I will fill all the hours without the visits to see him. I understand how you feel.xx
 

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