My dear wife.

[maryw]

So sorry to read your sad news xx


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[Casbow]

So sorry to read your sad news xx


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Oh Gringo what sad news. I am so sorry for your loss. Take comfort from the fact that no one could have been a better husband and carer than you. You never let her down. You were always there. I wish you peace and hope the days ahead, will go smoothly for you.Love to you xx

 

[notsogooddtr]

Deepest sympathy on your sad loss.

 

[jugglingmum]

Sorry to hear of your loss of your much loved wife.

Your love for her has shone through all your posts together with your despair at slowly having her wrenched away by this wretched disease. x

 

[gringo]

Such kindness and compassion. I am ashamed because for some time now, I have read and sorrowed over so many posts, but I have not offered any support. Yet in my time of trouble I am treated with such consideration. Whether I will be able to be more helpful in the future, I don't know. The spirit is willing but the flesh is very weak. But thank-you all for your messages, especially from those who have been through this nightmare themselves and know only too well the all-encompassing blackness and feeling of utter desolation.
Of course I knew it must happen ‘one day’, and I believed I was well prepared. Theory is one thing; practise is another. In the event nothing could have prepared me for the gut-wrenching, heart-breaking moment of the actual event and the over-whelming waves of grief that wash over and over.
I am now in denial and cannot believe it has happened. I keep preparing to go for my usual visits only to sit in tears when an inner voice tells me that I have no-one to visit anymore.
In time I trust I shall accept and take comfort from the truth that she is now, at long last, at peace and will not suffer anymore.
For the present though, I believe that, where-ever she may be, she will be as devastated as I am that we have been torn apart.

 

[Casbow]

Such kindness and compassion. I am ashamed because for some time now, I have read and sorrowed over so many posts, but I have not offered any support. Yet in my time of trouble I am treated with such consideration. Whether I will be able to be more helpful in the future, I don't know. The spirit is willing but the flesh is very weak. But thank-you all for your messages, especially from those who have been through this nightmare themselves and know only too well the all-encompassing blackness and feeling of utter desolation.
Of course I knew it must happen ‘one day’, and I believed I was well prepared. Theory is one thing; practise is another. In the event nothing could have prepared me for the gut-wrenching, heart-breaking moment of the actual event and the over-whelming waves of grief that wash over and over.
I am now in denial and cannot believe it has happened. I keep preparing to go for my usual visits only to sit in tears when an inner voice tells me that I have no-one to visit anymore.
In time I trust I shall accept and take comfort from the truth that she is now, at long last, at peace and will not suffer anymore.
For the present though, I believe that, where-ever she may be, she will be as devastated as I am that we have been torn apart.

Dear Gringo. If I haven't learned anything else I have learned the absolute wonder and kindness of the people on here. And you my friend are one of them. Do not apologise for spending the most precious last hours, days , months with your lovely wife. You cannot cope with everyone else's heartache as well as your own. We are here for you like you are here for us. Please post when your dear wife is laid to rest and you feel a bit stronger. My heart is with you. xxx

 

[CeliaW]

Don't feel ashamed Gringo, I am sure everyone would agree that you contribute to the forum in many ways - we all bring different things to the site and our individual contributions make up the whole.

I am sure these are sad and lonely times, I hope you are getting support from friends and family.

Supportive hugs for you, take care x

Sent from my SM-G361F using Talking Point mobile app

 

[Izzy]

Gringo I do hope you stay with TP. I have found the support given by everyone following my husband's death invaluable.

You will be on an emotional rollercoaster for some time. There always be someone here for your ups and downs over the coming weeks and months.

Wishing you strength.

 

[Saffie]

We, who have been there, cannot take away your grief nor the sense of utter loss Gringo but we can listen and we can understand if that is of any help to you.
Please stay and let us try to help you through the darkness. x

 

[jan.s]

I'm with you too Gringo. I know how devoted you and your lovely wife were to each other, and I also understand the utter devastation of the parting, but I always feel that Roger is with me, in my heart and in my head. He will never leave me, and I am sure it is true for you and your beautiful lady.

Thinking of you x

 

[Grannie G]

For the present though, I believe that, where-ever she may be, she will be as devastated as I am that we have been torn apart.

I`m sure she will gringo. I`m sure she will.

I don`t think you are in denial, I think you are in shock. As you said, however much we know the eventuality of this illness, it doesn`t make it any easier to bear when it happens.

 

[sue38]

Gringo, I'm so sorry to hear about your wife.

I hope you will feel able to continue to come to TP for support.

 

[gringo]

You never said I’m leaving
You never said good-bye
You were gone before I knew it
And only God knows why
Many times I’ve needed you,
And many times I’ve cried.
If love alone could’ve saved you,
You never would have died.
In life I loved you dearly,
In death I love you still.
In my heart you hold a place,
No one can ever fill.
It broke my heart to lose you,
But you didn’t go alone.
Part of me went with you,
The day God took you home


Author unknown

 

[jan.s]

That is so beautiful Gringo. She was one lucky lady to have you. The love you shared will never die x

 

[Saffie]

I started to post here last night but left it as you didn't need my tears. You have expressed your loss so beautifully Gringo. I feel for you. x

 

[gringo]

As my dear wife slowly descends to her hell,
I make sure she is wearing clean clothes,
And I lie, saying how well she is looking.
Feeling like Canute, as the dementia tide rolls in.

Whom the Lord loveth He chasteneth.
But I see that her hair is well-brushed.
And I lie, saying that she’s never looked better.
Watching like Canute, as the cancer tide floods in.

No gentle rain of mercy droppeth here.
I do all that I can, which doesn’t add up to a lot.
And I lie through my teeth, saying all will be well.
Helpless, like Canute, as the merciless tides surge in.

Envoi.

Peacefully, without any fuss she quietly went to her rest.
Her pains and confusion all thankfully taken away.
No lies are needed to tell of the tranquil beauty i beheld.
The tide carried her away as I watched, standing alone on the shore.

1/6/2017

 

[Grannie G]

Rest in peace.

 

[Saffie]

Rest in peace indeed and I hope you too can find some peace Gringo.x

 

[Cat27]

I wish you strength & peace Gringo.

 

[Dazmum]

I'm so sorry Gringo, you and your wife were so lucky to have each other xxxx