my dear Dad

[wendy43uk]

hi

just wandered how many tablets a day of amisulpride did yore dad take my hubby has been takeing them a year at 50mg a day they seem to keep him calm before he took them he seemed to get very angry over nothing now he seems to take every thing in his stride

 

[KaC]

hi
my dad was on 200mg a day
the drowsiness and inability to walk was visible after only a week or two of being on this drug
he has now been off complete ly for a weeek and most of his mobility has returned and is much more alert and now has a few lucid moments

karenx

 

[Lynne]

grandad never seemed to tire of reading bedtime stories; even when my dad became worse jamie would take care of him taking him to the 'mens' and generallly looking after him. one of my fondest recent memories was on new years day when my dad turned and said to jamie " I always feel safe when you are around Jamie"Karenx

Karen, your son sounds a real gem. Perhaps now, he could read to Grandad if he would like that.

 

[KaC]

feeling really low without Dad tonight bad day at work, revision/ coursework friction with my eldest son
Dad was always there when days went wrong often saying 'what you need is a tonic' which was his answer for any illness and often came round with a bottle of tonic for me
Im finding life so very hard without dad
I feel guilty for the times I wished for a sunday afternoon on my own
the reduction in medication has helped dad have more lucid moments
but the agitation has returned
Dad didnt recognise us at the weekend which was sad as we had our hopes up after last week
sorry this is such a .low' posting
I know I am lucky in so many ways but just miss dad so much its unbearable
sorry
Karenx

 

[Margarita]

Oh bless sending you a big ((((Hug))) .

friction with my eldest son ..............I no that feeling .

listen to your dad advice & have that tonic ,talk to him in your imagination ,I use to do that (my dad pass away 4 years old )

and I still Miss him

 

[Tender Face]

KaC, I really do understand. My dad was my best mate, my soul mate. I watched him deteriorate through chronic illness (no AD) - lost him 7 years ago - but in reality 12 years ago.

I feel he shaped everything about me - and how I deal with things. When I am struggling I too have 'imaginary' conversations with him - 'what would he have done in this situation?'. In that sense he (as he was before his illness) is always with me.

When I am really struggling I play the type of music he introduced me to... jazz/Ella, especially ... have a great big sob, and then try to move on again.

I often think now, trying my best to care for mum, not just what is logically the best for her, but 'what would dad have wanted me to do?'

You know, they are never really lost. They live on forever in our hearts and continue to give us strength.

Sorry if this doesn't help much. Just trying to let you know I feel what you say.

Love, Tender Face

 

[KaC]

thank you so much for your kind words they bring me so much comfort

I am so sorry it was such 'feeling srry for myself' posting I know I have it much easier than many other TP members I just seemed to have hit al ow point.

My dad was my best mate, my soul mate

dad was also my soul mate we have been a 'team' all my life we have always had a special bond and although he wasnt tactile or expressed any emotion in anyway i always felt his love

we always had a laugh together and seemed to find a joke together in everything even at the beginning of january when he was being assesed for his new care home they asked if he was allergic to anything i repeated the question to him and he replied 'only your mum'

im not very good at putting things into words but thank you so much for all the kind messages
love karenx

 

[Margarita]

karen Glad to hear your feeling better, we all been there, I feel that what TP is all about sharing the good time & the bad time.

Your dad sounds like he has a great since of humour, when he said only your mum

It’s been a lovely sunny day in London can hear the Ice cream van .he must think its summer to, bring back memories of dad giving me my pocket money 2 and 6pence me running to catch the ice cream van & dad singing the sun has got its hat on its singing hip, hip hooray the sun has got its hat on & its coming out to play

 

[Tender Face]

KaC: im not very good at putting things into words but thank you so much for all the kind messages


Can I say I think you are brilliant at putting things into words - else why would you have so many people respond to you? Why would you have me with a shiver down my spine because you made me feel about my dad as I haven't thought about him for years? That's the power of communication - not fancy words necessarily - being able to say what you mean to say without rambling on 'like what I do'!!!!

I knew the quote above had moved me and didn't know how to help.... and wanted to help.... I've thought about this a lot today.... TP has helped me so much - I'm a technophobe - I tried a 'smilie' earlier and now will have a sleepless night worrying if I got it wrong and offended someone.....

... then I thought, well, I can't stand watching blood tests, I'm not very good with just 'tea and sympathy', I'm hopeless at steering a hospital wheelchair, can't help my son with his algebra... burnt the toast this morning....and so it could go on.....

Then, I thought... what AM I good at?

Mum used to say 'there's no such word as can't'. Perhaps I am finally realising what was meant by that! So, instead of what I CAN'T do, what CAN I do? Instead of 'I'm not very good at......', try a list of 'Im VERY GOOD at.....'

Try it! (And do it just for yourself and love yourself for it!)

Huge hugs!

(PS: Compare lists if you like, but just don't mention burning toast - I am REALLY, REALLY good at that one!)

 

[Michael E]

But burnt toast is good!

Produces small amounts of charcoal which is a very important health additive - v good for the digestion! Not only a cook but a pharmacist at the same time! That's what I tell my wife when she complains about my 'toasties'!

Michael

 

[daughter]

Can I say I think you are brilliant at putting things into words - else why would you have so many people respond to you?

I agree with Tender Face, Karen. Your original post about your Dad struck a chord with me.

I tried a 'smilie' earlier and now will have a sleepless night worrying if I got it wrong and offended someone.....

Tender Face, I'm not sure how you could offend anyone, all your posts seem spot on to me. (Go on, try a few more smilies!)

Then again, I also worry that I'm not expressing myself properly and might be upsetting someone here, especially when you can't see all my facial gestures!

My Mum has always told me "just do your best". Often I've thought my best isn't good enough, but then again that is all I have, so she was right! Keep on scraping that toast! (Or should that be scrapping?)

 

[Margarita]

Gosh now I am wondering what my mum use to tell me now .she always use to say always remember the full stop & comers .and as she is a Libra she say as we where walking down the market with shopping, some time in life the scale get unbalance & you got to balance them out

I use to think that she meant the shopping was to heavy for her

And the full stop & comers, really hit the point yesterday as I was typing a personal statement for a job, my daughter walk in (she studying for a Masters to be come a social worker )

So I ask her for some help, cut long story short she tell me that her friends mum is doing a English class & I should do one, & she retypes the whole personal statement out for me, then I thought oh my god what you lot must think of my grammar? my Daughter was helping me before taking over ,but I can not hear the words its like a word blindness ,if you understand what I mean .

So my point none lol just that I should of listen more to my mother advice in full stop. & comers,

KaC how is it going with your dad ? (Udate) and with you ?

 

[KaC]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tender Face
I tried a 'smilie' earlier and now will have a sleepless night worrying if I got it wrong and offended someone.....

i thought it was only me who worries if i have caused offence - I spend countless sleepless nights worrying if i have offended someone somehow, i reread emails recount conversations in my head looking for somewhre I may have caused some upset and have often rung people after worrying explaining my concerns( all unfounded !! my eldest son once saoid to me that in my back pocket i keep a pack of sorry if i hve offended you and thank you letters just in case!
as I am on my own Callum my eldest bears the brunt of my worries and as for the burnt toast!! callum bought me a cook book for christmas - he said it was his benefit more than mine! the other day he came home from school and I proudly said guess wht i have cooked you for tea to which he replied 'oh you cooked it' dissapointedly

i saw dad last night - he recognised jamie - he knew me but wasnt sure who i was. I love seeing dad but it also hurts so much to sse him as he is and remember how much i miss our friendship and ease with each other - there is no one else i have such an ease with

Daughter - I was reading one your earlier posting about hosptial rules - they are also very true of my dad - all his clothes have gone missing, he had toe nails the size of eagles talons!! and all the rest...

Margarita - I am feeling much stronger today - unless any kindly person stops me to ask how my dad is doing! other than that i am definitely more upbeat - even my 15 year old son has been smiling - but no course work or revision has been started- probably why he is smiling!!!

thank you for all yuor very very kind messages they have really uplifted me, im sorry i have rambled on
love karenx

 

[Margarita]

KaC

I can really relate to that as I am in the same situation & to be honest I can cook & won’t cook, my son 26 & daughter 19 moan about my cooking, daughter 19 got me a cooking book, the truth is my motivation has gone, when kids where younger they where so easy to please ,trun 16 & its daughter trun vegetarian, don’t love her because I forget that she does not eat meat ok so its taken me 5 years to get my head around it. now they want this or want that .

They see me at home all day, so they think I should be cooking a nice co don burl meal lol .Ok I cook for mum,( now its brother ) but they don’t like her meals I do cook a lovely roast on Sunday ,& always forget the Yorkshire puddings  have just brunt the burgers, because I have been on hear ,trying to find if I have the same right as a carer for my brother who is Schizophrenic ,,and looking for as read it a while back ,they can not say or trun brother or anyone with a Disability on any issue on the grounds of lack of funding .for brother houseing surport .

As His CPN says they waiting to hear about funding , before he can be altercated , & I am geting ready in what to say ,if they say the trust do not have the funding .Just can't remember where I read it ............anyway

Do you have a full time job? , just asking because me personally went through a time, that my self confidence & self esteem hit a low ,don’t know if it was because of what was happening to mum? or from not working & mixing with other positive people ?

 

[Sheila]

Hi all, this is such a nice thread of caring and sharing, just what TP is all about. My smoke alarm has learnt to play concertos I burn the toast so often! Love to you all, She. XX

 

[Tender Face]

Burnt toast!

Hey, I am so famous for it my son asks for 'warm bread' with marmalade!!!!

I would just like it officially noted I will neither be scraping or scrapping anymore!!! (Huge hugs and big smackeroonie to Michael, especially). In future when I get any complaints of burning (the toast, the beef, etc) I am going to respond 'It's in your best interests... would you prefer I grate some charcoal into your cornflakes? (grin!!!)

Karen, your son sounds just like mine. Talk about presents with an 'invested interest'.... just because I watched the BRIT AWARDS, bopped around with him to Kaiser Chiefs in a moment of madness (release?) and mentioned their single reminded me of the Jam/Stranglers days I got the album today for Mother's Day!

Isn't it lovely (sad, but proud of their growing independence) when they realise that 'mum' is NOT the centre of the universe - or cannot always be the exclusive centre of their own universe - they see you for what you are sometimes - vulnerable, 'stressed', simply human.... they are growing up - seeing our weaknesses... maturing enough to try to help YOU!

So....he doesn't like my toast anymore, it's time he learnt to make it for himself (and me!)

 

[Tender Face]

Burnt toast!

Hey, I am so famous for it my son asks for 'warm bread' with marmalade!!!!

I would just like it officially noted I will neither be scraping or scrapping anymore!!! (Huge hugs and big smackeroonie to Michael, especially). In future when I get any complaints of burning (the toast, the beef, etc) I am going to respond 'It's in your best interests... would you prefer I grate some charcoal into your cornflakes? (grin!!!)

Karen, your son sounds just like mine. Talk about presents with an 'invested interest'.... just because I watched the BRIT AWARDS, bopped around with him to Kaiser Chiefs in a moment of madness (release?) and mentioned their single reminded me of the Jam/Stranglers days I got the album today for Mother's Day!

Isn't it lovely (sad, but proud of their growing independence) when they realise that 'mum' is NOT the centre of the universe - or cannot always be the exclusive centre of their own universe - they see you for what you are sometimes - vulnerable, 'stressed', simply human.... they are growing up - seeing our weaknesses... maturing enough to try to help YOU!

So....he doesn't like my toast anymore, it's time he learnt to make it for himself (and me!)

 

[Tender Face]

Especially for Margarita!

OK, just seen that my last 'post' appeared twice - and then I had to log in again - will report elsewhere .....just wanted to say to Margarita that I have read so many posts this week where people seem to be so apologetic about their 'weaknesses' - post all of mine and I'd fill up the database!

Margarita, if you want to 'do' a language course because it's what you want or need for yourself, then go do it! If not, don't!

I read your posts and I 'hear' you! What you write comes from the heart, there can be no better communication than that!

Love, Tender Face, x

 

[DickG]

Karen

Mary suffered from intense agitation and was prescribed pericyazine which has been very effective.

Hugs

Dick

 

[KaC]

Dick

my dad today has been prescribed Quetiapine for his agitation and uncooperative behaviour
I am hoping it wont have the same effect as almusulpride

Margarita yes i do work sometimes wish I worked less hours to give me more time at home to keep more on top of the "jobs" that need doing

love
karenx