My darling mum joined the angels this afternoon with me, my partner, her brother and sister-in-law at her side. Although expected, the ending came quite suddenly and she fought it every step of the way. Found her unconscious in bed Friday morning and called paramedics who rushed her in straight to rescus. A consultant spoke to me after the assessment and the news was not good. She had either suffered a massive bleed in the brain or the cancer had advanced to the brain and the shock had also made her vomit but she had inhaled it back into the lungs. I knew from her breathing that something drastic had happened. She was deeply unconscious and was going to die at any time - could be a few hours but anything up to 48hrs. She was put in a private room,put on a morphine drip and given injections to help her breathing. I was able to stay with her and managed a few hours sleep over the next two nights but her breathing at times was horrendous and I just kept wondering how her heart could keep going. Even though I didn't know if she could hear me I talked and touched her constantly, gave her mouth swabs to keep her lips moist and sponged her down when she was feverish. She didn't respond at all and the consultant told me that her conscious level meant that she was probably completely unaware of anything at all but there was no way I was going to leave her on her own. She lasted a lot longer than they expected and I knew that she was fighting it every step of the way but then her breathing changed and we knew that the end was near. We were all able to say farewell to her and I told her that I loved her 'my darling mum' but she could now go to be with dad and would she say hello to him from me. My heart was breaking but I'm so glad we were with her at the end to see that she went so peacefully. At the moment I feel lost and empty and sitting here typing this I keep expecting her to put her head round the door and say 'night night love - I'm going to bed now. She always said that even though I then had to get her ready for bed but she liked to think she was being independent. I will miss her so very much but I'm so glad that on Thursday night after I put her to bed I gave her her usual kiss and said the words I said to her every night 'Goodnight mum, sleep tight' and I know that if she never heard anything I said to her in hospital I know that she heard that from me and she replied 'Goodnight love'.