My Dad's predicament.


Registered User
Aug 13, 2005
West Midlands
First post here and so very sorry to read of other peoples experiences.

My father (85) has been diagnosed with vascular dementia. He has good days and bad days. More often than not he thinks there is a duplicate house to his or that his family are staff members and his home is a hotel!

My father does not go to his bedroom of a night, more like he goes into a train compartment and travels somewhere in the night. When he wakes with a start he imagines the train has crashed and he gets out of bed and starts wandering around the house in the middle of the night. Then in the morning he is convinced he is on a boat and his luggage is not on board.

Dad is agitated and will not leave my mother alone, he follows her everywhere! He spends his day talking gibberish and is currently taking Seroquel medication. Unfortunately my mother cannot cope any more and we will be moving Dad to a care home in the next few weeks.

My problem is that as we are 'self funding' we have received no help or advice whatsoever from our doctor or Mental Health Unit. They simply say as you are self funding you must find a care home yourself. All the doctor did was issue us with a DS1500 form to apply quickly for attendance allowance.

My question is surely Dad should be admitted to a NHS hospital and be assessed, given the correct medication and THEN put into a care, instead of going straight in. Other people I have spoken to say his doctor should admit him into a geriatric unit and have him assessed. I have read that other sufferers (on this forum) are on an 'assessment ward.' What is this?

We don't mind paying for care, but we want to know if our doctor has gone trough all the available channels open to him.

Any advice please.


Registered User
Jul 25, 2005
If no one has any suggestions, I'd call the Alzheimer's helpline or 0845 300 0336, or try your local Alzheimer's Society branch. They should be able to help you with this. Even though you are self-funding, if you have a social worker, they should be able to able to advise you on this (but that doesn't mean they always can!) If you don't have a social worker, ask your local Alzheimer's Society, or call your Council and ask them to put you through to the social work department and ask to have a social worker allocated.


Registered User
Jul 28, 2005
south london
from my understanding of previous posts here social services have to help.

they have to look after the welfare of your father if your mother is unable to do so and they should provide a list of suitable residential homes.

this is my understanding anyway


Registered User
May 1, 2005

When my dad had a dramatic decline 17 weeks ago, we took him to casualty and saw a nurse there who in turn called social services and got the ball rolling.

Recently, he was admitted to a medical ward as he had been getting chest pains, because he was aggressive they transferred him to an elderly mental health assessment ward. after he had been seen by a group of psychiatrists.

Ideally it should be the GP who starts things going in the right direction but our GP was rubbish.


love Jane x


Registered User
Mar 16, 2005
"My question is surely Dad should be admitted to a NHS hospital and be assessed, given the correct medication and THEN put into a care, instead of going straight in."

Good question UserEight. My Dad (82) went into a Home when his behaviour and aggression became so bad that my Mum was no longer able to cope. After a while in the Home, Dad's aggression became worse. and he was taken to hospital for an 'assessment'. I believe it was to make sure he was given the correct drugs for the aggression etc. He was there for 5 weeks and then returned to the Home. However, I don't know if the assessment should have been done first, may be someone else here will know. Perhaps an assessment is only carried out if there is a problem (such as aggression) but I'm really just guesssing now.

Like you, we were lucky enough to find a good home and, of course you'll miss him, but don't forget you can make some visits special for him and for you.

Best wishes,