My Dads in hospital

[Roxymoo]

My Dad went into hospital on Tuesday morning after having a fall on his morning walk. He seemed a lot slower than normal that morning but we put it down to the heat. An ambulance took him to hospital as his blood pressure seemed low and since then they’ve detected he has an infection somewhere but not yet sure where so he’s waiting results of all the tests. Luckily the fall itself doesnt appear to have caused any damage.

I was so shocked to see how badly he’d declined when I saw him yesterday. I’m not sure he knew who I was. He was wearing an incontinence pad, could hardly move, talking complete gibberish etc. The nurse said it was a result of the infection. He’s on antibiotics so hoping they kick in soon. I just can’t get over the state he was in. I almost can’t see him come back from this. It was very hard to see him like that.

Not sure what I’m looking for really maybe just advice on what I can do for him in hospital or what I should be asking the nurses there. I asked him if he wanted me to bring anything but nothing he says makes sense.

So far he’s had chest X-ray, blood tests, heart echo as they found heart murmur, they don’t know where the infection is yet but they say they should know tomorrow. He doesn’t say there’s any pain anywhere. No idea what’s going through his head, I can only hope he’s not sad or in pain, just hate seeing my poor Dad like this.

 

[Cat27]

I’m so sorry @Roxymoo.
I’d make sure he was drinking. Can you take ice lollies in a freezer pack and give him them when you’re visiting?

 

[Bunpoots]

I hope your dad makes a quick recovery @Roxymoo
The heat really takes it toll and falls and infections do seem more frequent in the elderly when the temperature rises. As Cat27 says - make sure your dad has as much to drink as he will.

My dad had a couple of infections last summer and he made no sense at all at times but he did get better.

 

[nae sporran]

Not much to advise you on Roxymoo. Can you ask the junior doctors to call you if they have any questions about your dad's normal health. At the hospital C was in the last couple of times the physios were more reliable indicators of physical health and quite willing to talk if you can catch them at visiting times. IS he on a drip to increase fluid intake?
Look after yourself with all the stress and strain of visiting, and I hope your dad is better soon.

 

[Roxymoo]

Thank you for your replies. Yes he is on a drip to increase fluids but I’ll take extra drinks with me today, it can’t hurt. At least it’s a bit cooler today. I'll look out for junior doctors too.

Feeling a bit better about it today, hospital say he is stable and comfortable right now which I’m hoping isn’t just something they tell everyone!! I am off now to see him, really hoping he's doing a bit better.

Thanks again xx

 

[nitram]

Sorry to hear about your situation, hope your Dad responds to treatment and soon recovers.

It might be an idea to talk to PALS https://www.nhs.uk/common-health-qu...t-is-pals-patient-advice-and-liaison-service/ and/or the Ward Manager about their Discharge Procedure (it should be on the trust's website).

I appreciate you want him home. However you have said elsewhere that your 83 year old Mum is 'rapidly losing patience' . The last thing you want is for him to return home and your Mum be overwhelmed.

The discharge procedure should include a needs assessment and care plan relative to where he is being discharged.
A free 'up to 6 weeks reablement ' may be appropriate
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/socia...ter-illness-or-hospital-discharge-reablement/

 

[Trekker]

This sounds like delirium, which happens easily in the elderly, with dehydration and infections very common causes. The first time this happened to my mother - five years ago- I was sure she was going to die, and remember vividly the distress and shock you describe, so sorry @Roxymoo . Still, five years later, and a few more admissions for delirium later, she’s still here, so this is definitely something people can recover from, although it can take a while. Very much endorse what @nitram says about a proper discharge plan. Because it can take a long time for delirium to resolve, hospitals often try to discharge patients before it has. Sometimes that works, at others it is totally unrealistic, and your mother’s vulnerabilities need to be taken fully into account. I wish you good luck, many of us on TP know from personal experience how tough this is for you x

 

[Roxymoo]

Hi that’s quite reassuring to know you’ve experienced similar yet your mother did recover @Trekker.

I’ll push for a proper care assessment when the time comes too @nitram .
I need to stay fairly optimistic I suppose. He wasn’t much better today but loved the cold Ribena I took in so good to see him respond positively to something.
He’s on a high risk ward as very restless and keeps wondering around. All the other men on his ward are laying or sat still but he just can’t seem to relax. He’s also wearing incontinence pad but whilst I was there he was clear about needing the toilet and so me and my mum helped him to the toilet. I understand the staff haven’t got the time or resources to help each patient like that and so it seems easier for them to just stick them all in pads. I can understand how I’ve read stories where patients go in to hospital able to use the toilet and come out incontinent.
I’m not rushing for a discharge as he’s clearly still got bad infection plus I think my mum realised now she can’t cope on her own at home with him.
Thank you @Trekker its reassuring to know you understand how I’m feeling. Friends ask but I just don’t feel I can be frank and say truly how bad it is yet on here I can be honest and it’s such a help xx

 

[Trekker]

Hi that’s quite reassuring to know you’ve experienced similar yet your mother did recover @Trekker.

I’ll push for a proper care assessment when the time comes too @nitram .
I need to stay fairly optimistic I suppose. He wasn’t much better today but loved the cold Ribena I took in so good to see him respond positively to something.
He’s on a high risk ward as very restless and keeps wondering around. All the other men on his ward are laying or sat still but he just can’t seem to relax. He’s also wearing incontinence pad but whilst I was there he was clear about needing the toilet and so me and my mum helped him to the toilet. I understand the staff haven’t got the time or resources to help each patient like that and so it seems easier for them to just stick them all in pads. I can understand how I’ve read stories where patients go in to hospital able to use the toilet and come out incontinent.
I’m not rushing for a discharge as he’s clearly still got bad infection plus I think my mum realised now she can’t cope on her own at home with him.
Thank you @Trekker its reassuring to know you understand how I’m feeling. Friends ask but I just don’t feel I can be frank and say truly how bad it is yet on here I can be honest and it’s such a help xx

That’s how I feel too xx

 

[Roxymoo]

Hi I’ve just been re reading your advice about discharge and proper care assessment as mum has now made up her mind she cant have dad back home if he ever leaves hospital.
He’s still in hospital on antibiotics for an infection and although still in a state of delirium he appears a bit physically stronger than last week. Think my mum is going to leave this all to me to sort out. Not sure if it’s just her way of dealing with it but she’s said she only wants to visit him now once a week (even got cross with me for going every day, saying I’m a nuisance to the staff there). I’ve just ignored that. Now she’s started getting rid of a few of his belongings, CDs etc. It’s so upsetting as if this isn’t hard enough anyway.
I’m not expecting she should take him home at all, we will have to find him a home, I’m just trying to be prepared for what they might propose and fob us off with. Will they try and send him home just with help to the house or is a home more likely? My mums 84 surely they’ll see she won’t cope?

 

[Cat27]

I’d ask to speak to the ward manager/sister & spell out all your concerns. Ask for a best interests meeting.

 

[Roxymoo]

My Dad is still in hospital and they are still treating the infection. He has had a few days where he was sitting up and looked fairly alert and seemed in quite good spirits. This was lovely to see. But since then he seems to have gone backwards again and every time I see him he is struggling to keep his eyes open, he can't wear his dentures at all now they wont stick which I think is from him losing weight so he's only having soft foods and his appetite is not great. I haven't been able to speak to a Dr during these days so no idea if the infection is worse. It will have to be Monday now before I get to speak to a Dr.

The social worker called yesterday and are pushing for us to choose a care home but he doesn't appear any where near being in a position to be discharged.

My list of things I need to ask is this...

Ask ward to carry out a CHC checklist
Ask for a best interests meeting
An assessment for free 'up to 6 weeks reablement '

I have no idea what order I need to ask about these or if they overlap? I am not an overly demanding or confrontational person but realise I need to be but it helps if I understand a bit more about what it is I am asking for. So any other info anyone can give me would be greatly appreciated. You've all already helped loads and I know so many others are in the same boat. I am just finding it all so confusing on top of seeing my Dad like this. Thanks x

Just to add my Dad will be self funding for as long as his savings last probably just under 2 years maybe.