My dad's eyes have changed

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by exhausted 2015, Aug 27, 2015.

  1. exhausted 2015

    exhausted 2015 Registered User

    Jul 5, 2015
    624
    Female
    stoke on trent
    I care for my dad 24/7 so I study him for most of the day over these past few months his eyes seemed to have changed I can't quite put my finger on what is different about them he looks vacant? or not sure if the liveliness has gone from them, sometimes I wonder if it is me imaging it but my husband has noticed a change too.. Has anyone else ever experienced this xx
     
  2. Bod

    Bod Registered User

    Aug 30, 2013
    1,111
    I imagine its possible, in dementia, the brain alters, so his perception of the world around him must change, he may be not able to understand it so well now.

    Bod
     
  3. exhausted 2015

    exhausted 2015 Registered User

    Jul 5, 2015
    624
    Female
    stoke on trent
    Hi bod thank you.. That makes sense.. It's just so strange xx
     
  4. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    9,397
    Female
    South coast
    Ive seen that vacant look in mums eyes too :(
     
  5. exhausted 2015

    exhausted 2015 Registered User

    Jul 5, 2015
    624
    Female
    stoke on trent
    It's so strange and sad to see isn't it xx
     
  6. betsie

    betsie Registered User

    Jun 11, 2012
    250
    The last few pictures I have of my dad are like that. His eyes are totally blank and emotionless. Like they are dead it is so sad.
    I try to only look at older pictures of him now, where he still has a twinkle in his eye.
     
  7. 1954

    1954 Registered User

    Jan 3, 2013
    3,836
    Sidcup
    MIL's eyes are often completely vacant too


    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
     
  8. Witzend

    Witzend Registered User

    Aug 29, 2007
    4,282
    SW London
    My mother's eyes went like that at least a couple of years before she died. Sort of 'dead' sounds horrible, but it's the only word I can think of that will do. But then she was very old and had advanced AD by that stage anyway - she died at 97.
     
  9. sistermillicent

    sistermillicent Registered User

    Jan 30, 2009
    2,951
    I saw this in mum too, a couple of years ago. Perhaps I am wrong to say it but I felt there was something evil in her eyes, I described it at the time as a monster inhabiting mum, because it certainly wasn't her. This has changed now and as she has deteriorated her eyes just look lost.
     
  10. Long-Suffering

    Long-Suffering Registered User

    Jul 6, 2015
    426
    My dad's dementia is very changeable, and sometimes it's almost like he is possessed. At that time, his eyes glaze over and his whole face kind of sags. He really doesn't look like himself at all. At this time he'll either cry or be angry/violent. Then later on he'll kind of come back - he will still be very confused, but it's like what's left of him is back and the other guy is gone. Mum calls his alter ego 'The Other Guy'. It's actually pretty creepy.

    LS
     
  11. Chemmy

    Chemmy Registered User

    Nov 7, 2011
    7,593
    Yorkshire
    I remember that look in Mum - an angry blackness, like an alien looking out at you. Creeped me out too.
     
  12. Loodles1995

    Loodles1995 Registered User

    Jul 17, 2015
    12
    I completely understand this. The one thing I say all the time to my dad is that I find it really hard to look at my mom's eyes. She isn't like it all of the time but as the disease progresses she is like it more and more. I feel like when I look into her eyes, she is not there and I find it heart breaking. It's like there is no lights there and no spark and she is lost.
     
  13. exhausted 2015

    exhausted 2015 Registered User

    Jul 5, 2015
    624
    Female
    stoke on trent
    Thanks to everyone who has replied I can see all of the things mentioned.. A blackness definitely and yes an awful evilness ect.. It is frightening at times Isn't it sad that this disease takes the eyes too thanks again everyone feel a bit better now that it's not just dad xx
     

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