Hello there, I am very new to this forum. My Dad (nearly 77) was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia 18 months ago, although he had it several years before his diagnosis. He was put into care in August, which was like a dream, and really has deteriorated ever since. My Mum wasn't able to care for him any longer. In mid-November he managed to get out of the home and we think he was beaten up, or at the very least had a terrible fall. I found him in hospital with a severely battered and bruised face. He was in terrible shock and sobbing when I got to him and I just couldn't believe what my dear Dad had become. Since this incident, he has really deteriorated. The Tuesday before Christmas, the home where he was living rang me at work, I work 40 miles away from home, and said they couldn't look after him anymore because he had become a little aggressive, he had slapped a lady around the face, before he had been quite passive and everyone liked him. He was however living in a nursing home and not an EMI nursing home, which is where they took him 2 hours after their call, without really consulting any of the family. They said they had to move him immediately and could I come and get him. Because it would have taken me at least an hour and a half to get there, the Manager of his new home said he could arrange to move Dad. I am no so sure that was actually the best thing to do, how confusing for the poor thing. When I went to see him after he had been moved I was shocked at his weight loss and the change in his appearance and behaviour. He seemed to have gone in on himself and could barely say anything. Not so long ago he was still able to engage in some sort of conversation although he couldn't remember it a minute later. I feel terribly sad, heartbroken really, how things have worked out for Dad. He doesn't deserve this awful ending to his life. I feel relieved really that I have also found this forum and have found tonight very cathartic. I have looked at some of the photos and they have made me cry, it is so hard to see how people deteriorate from such vibrant, active, fit individuals to a shell of themselves. Thank you for sharing the pictures with me and also the beautiful scenic pictures also on this board. The ones of Florence have brought back fabulous memories. Four and a half years ago I was in Florence with my dearest husband for my 40th birthday. Little beknown by me I was expecting our precious darling daughter, after several painful years of trying to get pregnant. I thank God that Dad was able to get to know Sophie and her him before his Dementia became so bad. She seems to still be able to cheer him up with a big hug.
Should I be upset about the quick and unconsulted move of Dad last week just before Christmas? I am I have to say. One of us would have liked to have been there. I was so upset when they rang me, I got home as soon as I could, but felt useless really.
This Christmas has been very hard, I still cannot believe how ill he is now. I would appreciate any advice on how to approach this year, it is and will be very difficult.
I wish you all a Happy New Year, if that is at all possible.
Fondest wishes
Janx
Should I be upset about the quick and unconsulted move of Dad last week just before Christmas? I am I have to say. One of us would have liked to have been there. I was so upset when they rang me, I got home as soon as I could, but felt useless really.
This Christmas has been very hard, I still cannot believe how ill he is now. I would appreciate any advice on how to approach this year, it is and will be very difficult.
I wish you all a Happy New Year, if that is at all possible.
Fondest wishes
Janx
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