My Dad

[susy]

Sorry be a bother but I'm after advice again. I have a massive hill to climb in persuading my Mum to go with more care coming in for my Dad (both mid 80's) but my Dad needs more than he is getting.
My Dad is mid stage I would say. He can chat but it has to be at his level and will often just zone out and starts talking to himself. He is incontinent of urine but still gets the call and takes himself to the loo. He wears pully ups. He wets himself at that point, not sure if he does it inbetween and he is then wet. This is happening more often than not now. He also doesn't manage to wipe his bum clean either so that's evident in the removed pully ups. He can feed himself but has to have the food and drink provided.
The house is beginning to smell not too pleasant now as you can imagine.
At this moment we have carers visiting 3 times a week. They get him showered and in to clean clothes. I believe this now isn't enough and would like 2 visits daily. My mum is definitely going to resist this but hey ho that's something to work on. A question is on the second visit would a carer use wipes to clean him up? Is this what is normal or any other advice as to what we would need????
Thanks.

 

[Isabella]

I think the carers will do whatever the care plan tells them too, unless anyone knows anything different?. This also dictates how long they are scheduled to be with your dad. It would be best to talk to whoever put the care plan together. If this is SS you would need to be quite clear about what help is needed, in my experience there isn't much communication between the carers and SS so SS often won't know what is or isn't working unless you intervene (even then it can be difficult to get more care). Not sure if that helps, hope it gets sorted for you.

 

[susy]

Thanks Isabella. We have difficulties with some of the carers (one especially) who doesn't follow the care plan as it is.
I will get social services to come and do another visit. They are due in August as it is. I'm sure all questions like what we need to get will be dealt with then. Thanks for the reassurance.
The biggest problem is that my mum doesn't want her house invaded and I can understand that. But this is/would be to the detriment of my dad. It's so hard and complicated. She also doesn't want a key safe either, thinks it attracts burglars.
Big sigh.

I'm on this roundabout and I want to get offfff

 

[carol4444]

Hi Susy. My father aged 91 has a carer each morning to provide him with a strip wash and to get his breakfast. This seems to keep him comfortable, he does not have Alzheimer's. My mother, who has Alzheimer's, aged 85 , will have nothing to do with the carers. I suspect this is going to be difficult as the smells in the bungalow seem to be coming from her bedroom. Although mum moans each day about having to answer the door and hates having her home invaded, I just shut my ears. The alternative is a care home which they would both hate so I figure we just do the best we can. I am developing a thick skin in order to keep things under control and to keep my mood stable. Hope you figure out a solution.

 

[susy]

Thank you Carol. I'm going to have to be tough. Yes the alternative is a care home. It's a battle worth fighting but I think my mum needs to hear this to see what's going on. She is too close to see the issues. Yet again my sister went in to find a lovely made up bed, she opened it up to find it damp with wee (luckily I got some Kyle type sheets) and something else smeared on it... It had been all made up by my mum. No carer I today. I don't believe the carers are doing the bed either. I'm going to have to do a lot of diplomatic bum kicking I guess. Hey, at least when we do get the package sorted out fully at least my dad is compliant. It could be much worse!!!